just knock

i need my walls
i need a safe space
to retreat to
when i need
to retreat
&
i’m not one of those people
who’s door is always
open
i do totally shut
my door
but if you knock
i will probably
let you in.

true story.
i tried to take those walls down & bad things happen. like when you remove a weight bearing wall in your house thinking it will open things up & all of a sudden your roof has fallen in?
like that.
so i’m keeping my walls, but, hey, knock & i might let you in.

scared silly

yeah i’m scared
i’m totally terrified
but
does that mean
i want to hide away
for the rest
of my
life
or!
do i want to
take a chance
& risk
another
broken
heart?

more thoughts on dating & relationships & venturing out from behind my walls…my glorious walls….

my wonderful walls

you know what
my walls are awesome
art deco
& mosaic
i should not just try
to knock them down
they protect
the garden of me
my life story
written
on those walls
my life’s work
written
into the stone
& sand
of them
my inner warrior
stands
at the garden gate
& my attempts
to break the walls down
casues her
to become
even more feral
& foreboding
but respect those walls
you & me
& that warrior
might just
grant you access
might just
show you her smile.

so trying to break down walls was a bit of the wrong direction. my walls are there for a reason. i might need to meditate on opening doors rather than tearing down an essential part of me.

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