INKtober twenty-seventh

i don’t want
to feel
angry
every time i see a forever
couple
in love
i don’t want
to feel
sad
wondering what is wrong with
me
that i am denied
that perfect
beautiful
love
still…
i hold on
imagining strong arms around me
feeling that warm embrace
knowing love evades me
i am doomed
to am amazing
inner
life
& an empty
outer
one.

i do not know what is going on here. it appears my vagina is a black hole vomiting stars. okay.
i draw what comes into my head.
sometimes i have an idea.
sometimes the idea has me.
as always, you are welcome to analyze my art & let me know what my subconscious is trying to say.

in my head

sometimes
i wonder
if i have become unhinged
adrift
unglued from reality
if i am actually
buried neck deep
in snow
or sand
maybe at the bottom of the ocean
or the end of the universe
dreaming
my
life
naked in line at the bank
a double agent
a grave robber
drifting
through another time & place
while
somehow
still anchored here
collecting eggs
&
watching sunsets.

 

down the mountain with an armadillo

i don’t know what’s going on in this picture
i don’t know what’s going on in my own life
sometimes i feel at one with the universe
sometimes i want to scream until my voice is gone
maybe i want to scream
because i am one
with the universe
why isn’t the universe screaming?
or maybe it is
& we just aren’t listening.
maybe i can feel it screaming
and that is why i am so angry.

i just want to paint. to draw. to not feel so angry.
and i have a son
who is the essence of his father
i catch myself having the same
arguments with him
that i would have with his father
the same circle
discussions
accusations
frustrations
ending in screams
because we don’t know how to do this
i don’t want to hate my son
i do not hate my son
i just hate the circumstances
that create the chaos
that i find myself in.

well,
that makes about as much sense
as my picture.
so we have come full circle.

fuck.
here is the ink stain i started with:

inkstainarmadillo

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑