look at me now

i have finished the project! the portraits for an art show are done.
in all, i have 69 portraits.
wow.
i did a final one in the style i have been using for my current journal pages. it is on display over on my patreon site, but eventually might make its way over here.
i am, overall, pretty happy with the collection.
so…
what now?

just keep inking….

i have actually developed anxiety about finishing this project.
i might just keep inking my portrait indefinitely.
this is the same thing that happened when my first inktober experience ended.

more selfies!

i am just living & breathing ink right now. but i am almost done & am kind of panicked about not having more to do….
but maybe i can finish something else next?

(sorry about the photo quality–my phone & i are both challenged in the photo taking department.)

the invisible exhibitionist


i have an upcoming art show!
date is to be announced…but i will be showing inkings from my “the invisible exhibitionist” series of self-portraits for the grand re-opening of the commons in viroqua, wi.
whoa.
so i am working on doing more finished versions of the art journal self-portraits i did for three years (almost 500 pages of self-portraits.)
so exciting!
i will keep y’all updated.

also, here is a photo of my art being sold in the local art mart!!

loving the lunatics

holy crap
what if
what if
you can’t do
normal
what if dysfunctional
is the only
speed
you move at?
you say you want
stable & secure
but then
then
you secretly shop for
fucked up
you crave crazy
you love the lunatics
lists of issues
are a turn-on
is this your sickness?
is this something
you can recover from?
or is damaged
&
broken
just the way you
roll
your own
warped
happy
ish
ending.

originally posted on october (inktober) 7th of last year. this page of the invisible exhibitionist was inspired by/stolen from one of my favorite male artists (& a bit of a freak himself) egon schiele.

i usually post a picture of the finished portrait next to the original…but my camera, abused by minions, refuses to work. i had to go shopping for a cheap replacement & am waiting for it to arrive. when it does, i will post some before & afters of this page as well as “the wrong one.” though i still don’t like my re-do of “the wrong one” (i tried three times to get it right) as much as i did the original.
sigh.
for love, support, & a new camera... (haha, you totally thought i was going to link you to my patreon page….)

searching for the sun

should i dig my hole
and hibernate?
forever ever after?
or should i grab my
essentials
and set out
in search
of the sun?
my own bright
light.

orignially posted on december 27, 2017
another page for the invisible exhibitionist

IMG_2474

coincidentally, yesterday, on my patreon page i was also writing about my search for the sun…but a more sexy search where i am the moon & my once & future soulmate is the sun….

when i started the re-do of this one, i was like–oh no, this is all wrong…but the more i worked on it, the more i liked it. so i am staying with the new version.

david’s battle

the seemingly
incessant
drone
as crop dusters
raid the air
above me
the earth
around me
coated in their
poisonous wake…
& i listen
to the silence
they leave behind
straining & hoping
for the hum
of pollinator’s wings
& the song
that once filled
the night air
from my frog-filled pond
dead quiet greets me now
& i lay awake
for all the noise
in my fevered
mind.

originally posted july 17, 2018
re-done for the invisible exhibitionist

IMG_2476

written last summer when i was being assaulted by crop dusters for two weeks straight. an assault that my bee colonies eventually were murdered by….
one reason i am anxious to leave this place.
the poisons of the city seem a lot less noxious than the poisons of the countryside.
this is the world we live in.

IMG_2469

i thought it was funny that i was working on this while drinking aviation american gin. a gin that i bought because ryan renolds told me to. i will do anything he says. ever since “two guys, a girl, & a pizza place”….sigh….
that’s how lonely i am, y’all
gin & imaginary romances….

in my next life

i have let you go
so many times
i am not sure
i know how
to hold on
i have spent so much
so much
of my life
trying to get you
out
of my heart
what if the door
has finally
closed
but it’s okay
you know
it’s okay
if you never come back
if you never
come back to me
i always have my next life
i know in
one of these lives
i will get it right
in my next life
surely
you will be
mine.

originally posted on february 9th, 2018 & a blatant rip-off of egon schiele

IMG_2468

another one for the invisible exhibitionist…. my exes can all fight about which one of them this is about because since writing this, i have decided i do not want to see any fucking one of them in my next life. they all can just fuck the fuck off. i plan to enjoy my next life–free of narcissistic assholes.
i like how just turning the smile up a tinge gave this a whole different look…i look like a dreamy fucking twat who would totally wait lifetimes for assholes.

i might need a nap…or some whiskey….

so i watched the 80’s movie tootsie with my boys last night. it was way way better than i remember it being.
i didn’t remember all the feminist awesome-ness of it. i didn’t remember the main character being such a womanizer & doing a 180 when he began pretending to be a woman (due to being such a devoted character actor, i’m assuming.)
i totally didn’t remember the scene with bill murray’s character coming home to stop the co-worker from raping dustin hoffman’s character and dustin hoffman saying, “there is nothing funny about sexual assault,” when bill murray’s character jokingly calls him a slut.
a good movie to watch with one’s young adult children…even though there is an occasional “fuck you” (PG rating though!) …but it’s not like my kids don’t hear stuff like that out of my potty mouth (what? no!)

so there is my 80’s movie review for this post….

speaking of inappropriate behavior from men, it has been drawn to my attention that a certain ex in-law of mine has been reading my blog–probably in order to stalk my sister or just to be icky.
so i just want to say–knock it the fuck off. try being a decent human being for a change.

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