maybe some visibility?

i am preparing to publish my third book in two years with raw earth ink.
first there was my collection of comics.
next there was my collection of short stories.
now it is time for my collection of self-portraits.

here is what i am wondering.
would y’all pay $45 for a 310 page book of illustrations & free verse mutterings? at $45 a pop, the books would be 8.5″X11″
another option is to go smaller, to 6″X9″ for $35.
or i could kill some of my darlings and cut the number of pages down by about half to make a $26 8.5″X11″

any thoughts?
i am in the process of removing all my self-portraits from this site (a long long process…so many self-portraits!) so that the only place to find an obsessive amount of my self-portraits will be in my upcoming book the invisible exhibitionist.

thank you for any input!

ps. in my attempts to lure money into my life, i have added a “writer/artist for hire” page
if you want to put a testimonial on my for hire page, i would truly appreciate it! just leave a comment here & i will paste it on to that page. thanks!
pass it on….

broken spell

i don’t feel it
anymore
when he is near
the spell is broken
the electricity gone
i feel
affection
fondness
thinking only of him
as a friend
someone
to talk to
i don’t feel it anymore
that need
to be inside his skin
to have him touch me
in every
possible
way
…now
i feel whole
without him
the spell is broken.

my ex-husband lost his job recently due to covid politics. i offered him a place to stay since he won’t have the income to pay his rent & will most likely be looking for a job closer to me & the kids.
i worried that this proximity might spark something as it has been a little over a year since our last (final final final) breakup.
i mean, i am trying to be realistic. obviously, after 12 years of an on-again/off-again relationship, how can i be sure that there will not be another on-again?
but i feel no attraction to him. yay! even after he brought me whiskey & has been all sweet.

and just the other day i read through my pages for my future book (the invisible exhibitionist) as i put it on a thumb drive to mail to my publisher (are you ready for that, tara?)
so many writings of my torrid relationship with the dad…so so many.
which inspired me to draw this page in the style of my self-portrait period.

two step

does feeling out of control
trigger
the anger
or does being angry
create this feeling
of being
out of control?
dancing this dance
leaves me wanting
to turn the
fucking music
off.

going through all of my self-portrait series journal pages tells me that i use “dancing” & “wondering” a lot. i am dancing with wonder? wondering about the dance?
going through all those journal pages is also bringing up a lot of feelings that i really don’t want to be feeling.
ack!
i hope i survive putting this book together!
if i do survive…surely i will be stronger for it….

every day is inktober

writing
led me to
art
which brought me back
to my
writing
…it’s the story
you see
no matter how
you tell it
it must
be told.

dude. i totally spaced on inktober…again…but, as it turns out, i have posted an inking every day of october so far. because, well, ever since 2016, almost every day has been inktober for me.
inktober 2016 is when it all began, my full-fledged & messy love affair with my ink (there’s an interesting mental picture…but it looks a lot like a room full of inkings of myself–see yesterday’s post.)
yes! in honor of inktober (which i. had spaced, but the universe kindly remembered for me) i have an exhibit of the ink adventure that reflects work that began inktober 2017! my self-portrait series “the invisible exhibitionist,” hangs at the commons in viroqua & will at some point soon be available for viewing on their website (though i still urge y’all to come visit the real thing.)
also!
in subconscious honor of inktober, i released my first book of comics on october 1st. confusion perfume was when i began to seriously start using ink rather than my previous flirtation with watercolors.
so much like the ink running through my veins, inktober is never far from my heart.

untangled

my body
after being my ride
for fifty years now
is
finally
learning to relax
muscles & nerves
unwinding
after
a lifetime
of knot
a childhood
spent
on high alert
tangled
became
my baseline
as i waited
for my worst case scenario
to come true
now…
with yoga
body work
art journals
& the odd meditations
now
i am unwinding
softening
opening
&
maybe?
am ready
for a best case scenario.

so my book confusion perfume & other neurotic comics is officially available from amazon.
sunday, i will be hanging my self-portrait series in the community center of this small wisconsin town.
so little…but so fucking much.
if i don’t relax, i might shatter into a million pieces…so, yeah, good thing i’ve finally figured that out.

in other news…

the freestore i started last winter is open again!

i am starting a writer’s/artist’s group on monday…

my art show (the invisible exhibitionist) is going up this weekend?

& my book is due for release on october 1st.

i’m only freaking out a little. okay. so i am super-dooper freaking out & my imposter syndrome feels like i am about to step off a cliff & spiral downward into the abyss…but, you know, otherwise…exciting stuff.

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