one month from today my second book (tangled together) hits the stands (my book confusion perfume still available!) also working on a commission for a friend as i scribble her face using my photos of her from the 90s and working on a logo for a group i am helping bring to life as my journal slows i think about what to do to keep myself busy.
when i was a girl, i could not get enough of horse stories. i picked up john steinbeck’s the red pony expecting just another heartwarming story of a boy & his horse…by the end of the book, i was pissed off & utterly confused. i remember the book from time to time, with bitterness. however, while proofing my upcoming collection of short stories, i found myself remembering the story with a different reaction. my own abrupt and morose storytelling reminded me of john steinbeck & that fucking pony. then i began to wonder how much i had internalized in those precocious early years, reading books beyond my understanding, stephan king & edgar allan poe…now building blocks to my own stories. men i have never met, corrupting & molding that little writer inside me….
melancholy lives in my heart… melancholy…that’s what i used to call my melon-colored collie. my cat named “maud” got tagged “maudlin.” “do you know what that means?” my first ex-husband would ask in his soft drawl as if he could not fathom my knowingly calling my pets by my darker emotions…. maybe he did not realize melancholy lives in my heart. maudlin is a friend of mine. those so-called darker emotions sometimes light my way.
more journal entries from my adventure in a free-falling spin out that triggered me to start writing in prose rather than free verse. i did not see that coming. i’m not sure if it is a good sign or a bad one.
ps. speaking of prose. i am working on releasing a collection of flash fiction & short stories. here is the cover in progress for my book coming out this year, tangled together.
the progress of this book may very well be a contributing factor to my spin out. i’m not very good at handling good news….
i am still working on journal pages of course of course. but i am also trying to get some small illustrations done for my upcoming collection of short stories due for publication later this year. tangled together is a long time coming collection of flash fiction & short stories. i will be so happy to finally see my stories in print.
also trying to cope with a world that i just want to burn to the ground…but apparently that is not the way things are done? not that i’m good at doing things the way they are supposed to do….
in lieu of matches–i made some patches. art saves the world once more!
there were like four more pages of confusion perfume…however, the wonderful tara caribou is planning to publish my comic with a couple other of my comics in a book due out later this year…. what?!? yes, it’s true. while there is no news on my short story collection, tangled together, which was supposed to come out in 2019…now, out of the blue, i have a different book coming out in my medium of choice: comics!!!! so fucking exciting. by the way, should there be a publisher who wants to tackle the short story collection, i think i can safely assume my other publisher has jumped ship.
anyhoo. the last four pages were a change of pace for confusion perfume, less levity…more dark & scribbly. a short story about 9-11-01 that i turned into a comic using berenice beaumont (my character in confusion perfume in case you are just tuning in.) and i decided not to post them to give y’all a little mystery. plus! tara has requested i write little ditties like i like to do, explaining/rationalizing/analyzing my work. so i am totally having a blast doing that. also…maybe brand new never seen before pages????
so what now? well, today, we have quixotic postcards i made years ago at a ‘zine fest when the printer did not have my order of postcards ready & i had to make some up on the fly.
tomorrow? (or the next day if tomorrow is too hectic) pages of my comic in progress: weener coop & by in progress, i mean, i really do plan on getting back to it one day because i think it is totally fucking awesome.
when i was not even yet 20 i had written three or four books & working on the next one plunking away on an electric typewriter sending off pages & pages to publishers & agents getting back an impressive collection of rejections i knew i was going to be a famous author i knew it… but life got in the way & hope dreams years lost to “but what are you really going to be?” & “shouldn’t you be looking for a job with health insurance” (punk rock little me thinking as long as i have planned parenthood why do i need insurance?) somehow without looking i am almost fifty still punk rock but not yet nor anytime soon a famous author however! soon a published author.
my collection of stories–some from those times when i was 20…some from an almost 50 (but still punk rock!!) mother of four…and all the time in between–my collection of short stories has been accepted by a small press in ohio. a punk rock press, of course.
i should be excited…& i think i am…but maybe after so many years of being quietly unpublished, i am not sure how to make noise about being published…. give me a day or two.