all of me

i just wanted to see
if i could fill up
a page
with me

originally posted on february 1, 2018

another one for the invisible exhibitionist.

IMG_2463

i have been sick all week. plus i did a 10 hour roadtrip to a small iowa town & then did a four hour roadtrip  with picnic & half-assed hiking the next day to pick up the minions.
i totally want to move to that small iowa town…but am having trouble finding a rental or other living space…. i’m trying to trust & to not freak out about it.
but i am freaking out a little.
which makes my head cold that much worse. & my minions are also sick. so i am not able to rest much.
i have not been drawing or writing much at all in the past week. i’m tired. i’m so super stressed out sick. oh–& i have the menstrual cramps real hard.

i have been wanting to re-do “all of me” for awhile. it’s one of my favorites. i like how it turned out.

Advertisements

be the monster

three quarters of my face is my favorite face.

i just read that people who are raised with trauma as the norm get freaked out when things are not stressful.
i think i am in that place.
right not.

birdie

i finally finished this.
it’s the 12th of february and i have only done 3 inkings.
but that’s okay.
sometimes maybe i get stuck.

okay. lots of times i get stuck.

yesterday, however, i made 10 valentines & mailed them out.

img_3333

 

10 of these in one day. that’s something. they are all just an inkstain with one inking done by pen. no ink brush. no final scribbling with the pen. so a few steps shy of what i would call a finished inking. ¬†but i did 10 in one day. i did that.

fuck christmas cards (i always forget to send them)…but i sent out valentines…you know, to 10 people. more next year if i get some addresses written down.

so that was fun.

but i’m still a wreck. i wake up every morning thinking i will be able to handle the day. but by sunset, i’m pretty sure i did not handle the day very well.

fuck.

and i need to learn how to milk a sheep.

i’m such a half-assed homesteader. i’ve got sunflower micro greens, potatoes, and spinach growing in my sunroom despite my inability to remember i have things growing out there.
i have spinach & lettuce growing in my cold frame despite my inability to capture and formerly punish the groundhog who keeps raiding it.
and i have broccoli somehow growing in a hoop house despite my inability to keep the structure sound.

and i have livestock reproducing in my yard despite my inattention to the process.

plus i’m going to put in bees and a full garden come spring?

when will i draw? i’m going to have to actually pay attention to my homestead one of these days…not to mention my parenting.

i might be a bit overwhelmed.
i might be a bit stressed.
i might be a bit lonely and wishing i had someone here to tell me that i got this.
because sometimes i just feel like i’m drowning in it all.

alone & drowning.

but i finished another inking.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑