maiden, mother, crone II

i am maiden
i am mother
i am crone
i have a maiden’s
heart
i have a mother’s
strength
i have a crone’s
wisdom
the power of three
i am all
i am
everything.

i need to be chanting this mantra daily. i like that the first things i related to maiden, mother, & crone were heart, strength, & wisdom respectively. i also like that i do feel i have all three of these things.
but i do need to keep it at the front of my mind as i work towards the enlightenment i so long for.

i love how this illustration turned out. i had just gone to the house on the rock for a birthday celebration & was blown away by anything carved out of wood. mermaids, madonnas, marionettes…. and the giant squid vs. whale…. and the fucking carousel…i could have stared at it for hours.
so much fodder for future art!

embracing my grizzly heart

my grizzy heart
does not want to be
a dancing bear
in your circus
…i’m not proud…nor am i ashamed
…of how many men…i’ve made cry
i come to you
wild
not asking you
…to tame me
…to cage me
i come to you
wild
not wanting you
…to curl up in a ball
…or run away
i come to you wild
because
it is who i am
walk with me
wrestle with me
adventure with me
&
dance
with
me.

i am no longer apologizing for who i am. i am embracing myself. i used to have a reoccurring dream about being hunted by a grizzly bear who never actually hurt me. one day i realized that the grizzly bear represented a part of me that i was afraid of. after i realized that, i stopped having the dream.
i have continued to struggle with the grizzly bear inside of me. with little voices telling me how i am supposed to be. what the world expects of me. and when i try to meet those invisible expectations…part of me always dies.
in relationships i often find myself with either people who want to conquer my inner grizzly, or people who see the grizzly and just get the fuck out of there.

part of my healing is my embracing my grizzly.
bear hugs might be scary…but they are so totally worth it.

leap of faith

a leap of faith
i stand
looking
watching
waiting
will someone push me?
or do i
just
jump?
do i believe in myself
do
i
believe?
can i do this?
tap into that
deep
still
pool
of
confidence
i know
i know
is inside me
draw it up
in one deep breath
i just
leap?

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