the wrong one

after all this time
after everything
or
because of everything
i just can’t believe i am the kind of person
who deserves to be loved
whenever
i see someone i would like to call
my own
i worry they will find their true love
before
i can convince them
to love me.

look how pretty i am.
when i met dusty, i believed in my heart i was the wrong one for him. we worked together in this restaurant and there was a girl there who did not work for the restaurant, but was a care-taker for a mentally challenged man who worked with us. i thought she would be the perfect one for dusty. i believed he was a better person than me and that he deserved a better person than me. i worried he would one day realize this.
so i have a small crush on someone i follow on instagram and when i went to follow a woman i know, i–all of a sudden–was convinced that she was the perfect one for my crush & that if i followed both of them they would somehow meet & realize this.
i have serious issues.
i am happy to report that i decided to follow her despite my feelings of inadequacy.

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honestly…

i will call your bullshit
bullshit
i was once called
a truthteller
& i know it to be
true
with a scorpio’s biting sting
i show you my truth
& yours
i spill it out
unable to keep it in
unwilling to keep it in
maybe this is why
i am so fabulously
unpopular
the truth
is that unwelcome guest
you keep
on your front
doorstep
curtains closed.

(look how pretty i am as a siren!
and honestly, my nipples do look like starfish.)