doodles

i am trying to stretch my brain
my abilities
i feel like there is more i can be doing
should be doing
with my art & writings….

as i doodled the above doodle (inspired by my 10 year old telling me that she saw one of the hills around us move), my two youngest watched & egged me on. it felt good. it made me wonder if maybe i should write & illustrate a children’s book…
at the very least, i want to be doing more comics.
and then there is the question of putting myself out there for other possibilities…facing my fears…self-promotion & all things scary….

character

i don’t like feeling
i am a character
in a story
i did not write.

i prefer my own narration. in my narration i am a total rockstar…. but then there are those days where the narrative is that i am a fucktard with body image issues & a complete lack of faith in myself. the person that will die alone. disillusioned.
i don’t want to be that character.
i want to be the rockstar….

related? unrelated? i had a dream recently that seemed to go on all night long. it started as a standard slasher movie dream where the slasher was terrorizing the general public & dismembering pretty much everyone.
i was running for my life, terrified.
but by the end of the dream, i was having a conversation with the slasher. he was no longer a slasher, just some guy not killing everyone in sight.
and i was no longer terrified.
i am thinking it is as simple as this: face your fears…they might not be that scary.
right?

does that mean i have to start promoting myself?
i guess we will see….

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