let the sun shine in

i was happily tucked away
in my dark
dark
corner…
was i though?
was i
happy?
(no one puts
baby
in a corner)
i totally thought
i belonged
in that
corner
i thought i
belonged
in a shoebox
with holes
punched
in the lid
to let in
a little light…
but
what if that is not
enough
what if that little taste
of light
leaves me hungry
for more?

so it happens that i write down my thoughts as they come through me–as i need to vomit out what i am feeling.
then i go back & illustrate on a different day…during, very possibly, a different mood.
so my words can sound hopeful…while my illustration looks positively disturbed. or vice versa.

sugar & spice

i’m a really nice person
i am…
until you piss
me
off…
blame it on my scorpio
rising
but this cancer
doesn’t always
disappear
into her
shell.
sometimes
she stings…
watch out
for that
sting.

i have been looking at my astrological chart with my friend. we are both cancers–but i have scorpio rising…scorpio moon…lots & lots of water in me.
so i struggle with boundaries & have some mild bouts of moodiness (hahahahahahaha!)

this is more experimenting with ardhanarishvara…full body…genitalia & whatnot. i still need to play with it more….

scorpio moon

i have known this about myself for awhile, but i don’t think i have journaled about it?
it came to light a couple of days ago when i realized i could not meet up with a friend because i despise her boyfriend…i spent the last summer living at his place listening to him bitch about her. he is manipulative & babyish & i sincerely do not want to waste my time being anywhere near him….
i sometimes wish i could fake it
but also
not.

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