hold the disney

i like mermaids
the ones
with the sharp
pointy teeth
who drag sailors
to a watery tomb
i like unicorns
the ones
with the stabby
horns
& stompy feet
who fight lions
& dragons
i like fairytales
the ones
that run dark
& foreboding
grim as fuck
please
hold the disney.

random thoughts from a quixotic mama….

sex education

i learned about sex from HBO
i learned about sex from sidney sheldon & stephen king
sure my mom told me the basics
the technicalities of it
but HBO showed me how it was done
cinemax on friday nights
before internet porn there was cable tv
before internet porn there were smutty books
i have never regretted coming of age
in the 80’s
way before the easy availability
of porn
when sex was still magical
with bits left to the imagination.

random thoughts from the too much information bits of my brain. hmmm. maybe i have sex on the brain. i can’t remember for sure what triggered this random thought.

do random thoughts make good comics?

comic to be titled: how am i supposed to have any hope for the human race?

panel one: i dyed my hair blonde once
panel two: country singers invited me to their motel rooms
panel three: boys fought each other to walk me home
panel four: it wasn’t even that good of a dye job

here is my efforts to turn random thoughts into an art form.
does it work?
at least it keeps me entertained….

note…only one country singer invited me to come to his motel room

now i get it

when i was a girl, i could not get enough of horse stories. i picked up john steinbeck’s the red pony
expecting just another heartwarming story of a boy & his horse…by the end of the book, i was
pissed off & utterly confused. i remember the book from time to time, with bitterness. however,
while proofing my upcoming collection of short stories, i found myself remembering the story
with a different reaction. my own abrupt and morose storytelling reminded me of john steinbeck &
that fucking pony. then i began to wonder how much i had internalized in those precocious early
years, reading books beyond my understanding, stephan king & edgar allan poe…now building blocks
to my own stories. men i have never met, corrupting & molding that little writer inside me….

my dickie

i call my hairstyle
“the dickie”
it looks like i am wearing a full head of hair
but
i am not.

just a goofy thought put into my art journal. i like the inking of me.
mostly i am freaking out about my new house these days. does anyone have thoughts on alternative energy in regards to heating…& water heaters? (just in time for earth day!)
i am making this house from scratch it seems, & i don’t want to follow the recipe.

somewhere in time

embracing time
as a fluid thing
that moves through me
& around me
& back again
so i can be old me
with old you
but also be
a me
that knows better.

random thoughts as i navigate my broken heart. i have been doing a lot of navigating of said heart in the past week. there will be some dark posts upcoming as i figure stuff out….

housekeeping

i’m going to hire
a serial
killer
to clean my house
because surely
they would be
good
at neutralizing
sterilizing
the crime scene
that is my home.

just a random thought. they usually happen when i’m alone & having a good conversation with myself.
i’m not happy with the inking…but, again, it was experimental…& has nothing to do with the verse….

room with a view

baby
it’s cold outside
yet the birds 
that flutter outside my window 
as i write & draw & dream
don’t seem 
to even know 
i saw a hawk take one out 
the other day 
a streak of brown 
in a white background
and dinner was served 
today 
a vole runs back & forth 
across the snow 
gathering the sunflower seeds 
i threw 
to the juncos
such
determination
& my
undying
admiration.

i get excited whenever i take a selfie that doesn’t look like crap…so, here’s an ink-free self-portrait.

random thoughts on the last day of summer

holy fricking christ that’s a cute puppy, right?

i know, i know, you are all like, but aren’t you kind of overwhelmed as it is, emje? do you really want to be getting a puppy right now?
well…you know…want vs. need. oh my god, i need a puppy!
look how cute she is!
i am due to adopt her next week. she is a cattle dog. my very most favorite breed. i remember the first time i ever saw cattle dogs, & it was love at first sight.
(who has noticed that moses jones has a cattle dog?)
i tried adopting adult dogs, but they were not socialized to our life. it is so so hard to find an adult dog socialized to being around kids & livestock & country roads, etc. i know dog socialization. I know dog training. i can do this.
it might even be good for me?

meanwhile, fall equinox tomorrow! at last! balance! the caterpillars & i shared a crop of basil just now. my garden still grows despite my neglect.

also!
today in the mail i got jars & jars of salmon in exchange for an inking i did. i feel like the luckiest artist in the world! once i got texas pecans for a zine & now i get alaskan salmon for an inking.
i feel so successful & loved right now.

and i started a new page of moses jones & i think i finally got the art the way i want it!! after only a bajillion pages.

meanwhile, i am goofing off on okcupid again–which is always strangely flattering & bizarre in a fun way…and meeting cute local farmer boys through my selling livestock on craigslist.
and it’s finally fall, y’all.

it’s a beautiful day.
(& i’m getting a puppy next week!!)

random dreams….

this morning, before i woke up, i had a dream about hamlet, our turkey.
in the dream he could talk & sounded like “strax” from doctor who (which is how i have always suspected he would sound if he talked.)

in my dream someone who hamlet did not like was visiting so he ran up with his head super red and called the guy a “motherfucker.”
then i turned to my kids and said, “who taught hamlet to say ‘motherfucker’?”

which is exactly what would happen in real life
if we had a talking turkey.

(another glimpse into my parenting skills)

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