quixotic starwhal

i am still working on journal pages of course of course.
but i am also trying to get some small illustrations done for my upcoming collection of short stories due for publication later this year. tangled together is a long time coming collection of flash fiction & short stories. i will be so happy to finally see my stories in print.

also trying to cope with a world that i just want to burn to the ground…but apparently that is not the way things are done? not that i’m good at doing things the way they are supposed to do….

in lieu of matches–i made some patches.
art saves the world once more!

questioning authority

why
am i opposed
to doing
what i am
told
to do….
i’m not willing
to compromise
my beliefs
i’m not willing
to ignore
what my body
my heart
my mind
are telling me are right
i’m not willing
to give up
awareness
& instinct
to embrace
the bliss of ignorance
following
blindly….
i have questions
& even if
i never find the answers
i will not
stop
asking.

i belong to a rebel alliance & this is the question that was asked at our last meeting. “why am i opposed to doing what i am told….”
i don’t know if this answers it…but this is what i thought on the topic.

autumn madonna

i think more people
will benefit
from my brilliant smile
than will
from said smile
being covered.

i think a lot…i think a lot about how we, as primates, are possibly doing damage by not seeing faces of friends & strangers. a lot is communicated through the face. i have been binge watching lie to me, a show about how much is communicated through expression. and my being an adult child of an abusive household–i learned to read faces rather than listen to words. so how the fuck is all of this affecting us, really?
something to think (lay awake at night & obsess) about….
what is it they used to say about how you need so many positive experiences to negate those negative ones? how can i make your day better after all the stress, if you won’t let me show you my smile???
crap.

quite contrary

my anti-social behavior
is now
acceptable
normal even…
things are not right
in this world.
the politics
of covid
have turned this contrary
introvert
this well-coccooned worm
into a
blooming
fucking
social butterfly
if society tells me to keep away
you can bet your ass
i won’t.

my mom used to call me “mary mary quite contrary”…she might have been dead on about that one.

i have discussed my transformation with some people. it is funny to me–that i am finding myself reaching out more & more. my normal behavior became the norm…so now my behavior has become abnormal (for me)….
i’m abnormally social for me, which makes my behavior it’s normal level of non-conformity.

ouch…my head hurts.

Now Available from Indie Blu(e) Publishing: As the World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad — Brave & Reckless

Indie Blu(e) Publishing is thrilled to announce that As the World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad in now available on Amazon in both print and Kindle versions.

Now Available from Indie Blu(e) Publishing: As the World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad — Brave & Reckless

here is an anthology that includes some pieces from me on my feelings about the current state of the world…check it out

xo

invasion of the body snatchers

it’s all a con
trickery
trickery
controlling the masses
an all new
us vs. them
who wants fresh air?
we want fresh air
who wants the truth?
(you can’t handle the truth)
surely
someone
wants the truth?
should we discover
someone
who knows it….
they
(my first husband used to ask
“the van pattons?”
everytime i hit him with
a ‘they’)
they can easily tell
the compliants
from the rebels…
it’s as plain as the
masks
(or not)
on our faces….

this was written after a long conversation with someone who sees the world with a similar lens to mine.
it’s always nice having conversations with the choir, isn’t it?
…you see, i keep thinking about the end of invasion of the body snatchers where the survivors of the covert invasion think they have found their friend (played by donald sutherland) but as soon as their friend sees them, he points & beings alerting the others of his kind….
i keep waiting for this to happen to me.
not that i am hiding…
funny story. i posted this on instagram yesterday with a (hashtag)covidbullshit… instagram then put a link to the cdc on my post with “information” about covid….durp. i am still naive enough to be surprised by that.

so, as a friend used to tell me, “just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t actually watching you.”
also, conspiracy theories were coined as such to discredit anyone who questioned the accepted story.
just some thoughts that keep me going….

imagine

what if
there were no political
parties
what if
it was simply
candidates
& you voted for the candidate
who best represented
your world view
& supported
your ideals?
you say
black lives matter
yet you align yourself
with a
candidate
who pushed for laws
intended to incarcerate
black people
with a vp
who enforced those laws
is that really
really really
who you want
running your country?
now
imagine you had a
real choice.

“you may say i’m a dreamer, but i’m not the only one.”

here in the states i am known as a “third party voter.” that is i do not support a two party system & am trying to break said system down. i am neither democrat or republican. i usually choose a candidate by how i think they will govern.
i believe in voting for someone…not voting against someone. i refuse to believe i have to choose the lesser of two evils.

so hate me if you must for how you perceive that i am hurting you by exercising my right to vote. you won’t be the first….

but i refuse to pretend that biden is not at least as big a piece of shit as trump & cannot understand how anyone can vote for him.
so i have joined the libertarian party this election season.
because if there is anything my raging abusive father taught me it is this: question authority.

question authority

there is nothing new
about this
normal
our medical system
has always used
scare tactics
governments
have always
overreached
& people
have always
blamed
&
bullied
members of their
community
rather than
question authority.

quick rant on latest trending panic

back
when i was on the fringe
for homeschooling
my children
people would ask
with accusation in their tone
“but how will your children
be socialized?”
& i would tell them
easily
in every day
interactions
with other people…
the hypocrisy
does not
escape me
that these same people
are telling me now
keep my kids at home!
mask them!
keep your distance!
as i am shamed
for letting my kids
have those ever
still pertinent
social
interactions.

why are we letting our children be turned into socially deprived, immunocompromised neurotics?
i worry even more about our future. i am not worried about covid19…i am worried about how our reaction to it is damaging generations to come.

another art journal page inspired by my talking to the city council about re-opening our parks in this remote community with zero cases of covid.

bubble boy

it seems to me
that the powers
that be
are conspiring
to turn
us all
into
touch deprived
immunocompromised
bubble boys
unable to venture
out
without
a collapse of health
due to
no natural tolerance
to the elements
we should be
exposed to
our environment
our community
our air
not restricted…
should we grow
or should we
shrink?

i keep thinking about how colonizers of the americas gave small pox infested blankets to the native americans who had no natural immunity to the disease & promptly got sick & died.
why should healthy people in uninfected communities be asked to compromise their immune systems by wearing masks & not socializing with others?
it does not make any sense.
unless you trust your government…which i do not. if my government cared about my health, they would not poison our food, water, & air on such a regular basis.
until i see governments actually addressing health issues instead of creating scare tactics to pit people against other people…i will continue to question this so-called pandemic.

i wrote this art journal page as i prepared to speak to my local city council about re-opening the parks in this remote community where we have zero cases of covid yet are behaving as if a plague is happening.

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