question authority

there is nothing new
about this
normal
our medical system
has always used
scare tactics
governments
have always
overreached
& people
have always
blamed
&
bullied
members of their
community
rather than
question authority.

quick rant on latest trending panic

back
when i was on the fringe
for homeschooling
my children
people would ask
with accusation in their tone
“but how will your children
be socialized?”
& i would tell them
easily
in every day
interactions
with other people…
the hypocrisy
does not
escape me
that these same people
are telling me now
keep my kids at home!
mask them!
keep your distance!
as i am shamed
for letting my kids
have those ever
still pertinent
social
interactions.

why are we letting our children be turned into socially deprived, immunocompromised neurotics?
i worry even more about our future. i am not worried about covid19…i am worried about how our reaction to it is damaging generations to come.

another art journal page inspired by my talking to the city council about re-opening our parks in this remote community with zero cases of covid.

bubble boy

it seems to me
that the powers
that be
are conspiring
to turn
us all
into
touch deprived
immunocompromised
bubble boys
unable to venture
out
without
a collapse of health
due to
no natural tolerance
to the elements
we should be
exposed to
our environment
our community
our air
not restricted…
should we grow
or should we
shrink?

i keep thinking about how colonizers of the americas gave small pox infested blankets to the native americans who had no natural immunity to the disease & promptly got sick & died.
why should healthy people in uninfected communities be asked to compromise their immune systems by wearing masks & not socializing with others?
it does not make any sense.
unless you trust your government…which i do not. if my government cared about my health, they would not poison our food, water, & air on such a regular basis.
until i see governments actually addressing health issues instead of creating scare tactics to pit people against other people…i will continue to question this so-called pandemic.

i wrote this art journal page as i prepared to speak to my local city council about re-opening the parks in this remote community where we have zero cases of covid yet are behaving as if a plague is happening.

my big stupid mouth

my plan is
to never
leave my house again
to never
open my big
stupid mouth
again
to never be
foolish
to never
believe
i have something
worthwhile
to say
to never think
anyone
wants
anything
to do with me
again….

my social anxiety & i went to a meeting of like-minded rebels concerned about the forcing of masks on our community where there are zero cases of said virus.
i had so much to say, but quickly became overwhelmed by emotion & basically was only able to stutter out some randomness that probably did not even make sense.
i left the meeting feeling (ironically) even more alone than i had felt before finding the group. i felt like a social pariah.
see? this is why i do art & write & rarely leave my little bubble….

new normal my ass

my journal pages are getting less covert & more overt about my feelings on current events & current trends as i struggle to make sense of the world & my place on the fringe.

as my posts in the next few days grow more & more vocal of my dissent, i don’t expect very many people to agree with me & respect your right to a differing opinion. however, you are only allowed to comment with your contrary opinion if you have previously commented on my blog & already have a dialogue with me. otherwise, your comment will be flushed. because if you are just piping in to criticize me…well…totally not cool with me.

lemonade

i don’t like feeling
defeated
by life
i want
instead
to be one of those
elastic
people
that bad stuff
just bounces
off
as they find
the positive
go
forth
& conquer
turning their frown
upside
down
& lemons
into
lemonade
instead
i have to hunker
down
gather my resources
& wait
for the sun
to come back out.

as i stated yesterday…vague references to current events….
ironically, as politics try to cut me off from my fellow humans…my introverted ass is out of the house joining community resistance groups & looking for straight from farm sources for food as i refuse to join in to the politics of covid.
it’s that or lay on my couch & cry.
ack.
trust me, i know what i’m doing.

instead of all this buzzing

my brain feels
like a wasps’ nest
(is the world on fire?)
why do i see
one thing
& everyone else
sees
another
how can i speak
shout
scream
& no one hears me
(is the gaslight on?)
nothing
makes sense
anymore
another day
of feeling like
i will
crawl out of my skin
while
everyone else
acts like it’s business
as usual
(is it over yet?)

while i revel in posting my innermost turmoil…i avoid posting about the turmoil in the world–topics that might cause someone to yell at me. i don’t like being yelled at. i don’t like feeling like i am not being heard. i left facebook a million years ago so i wouldn’t be subject to all the weird politics of social media.
right now
i am on the unpopular side of current events. okay…lots of times i am on the unpopular side.
do i talk about it? or just write vague art journal pages alluding to it?
hmmmm….

what is quiet certainty like?

surely
life would be
easier
if i could
speak
without questioning my voice
think
without examining my thoughts
act
without wondering what
motivates
me…
everything i put forth
is subject to a three dimensional
inquisition
am i right
am i wrong
am i pacifying
am i blowing it all
out
of proportion…
ah.
to attack
without regret
without anxiety
without a second thought
to conquer
without
wondering
why.

in these stupid times we are in…my resorting to a very simple adjective for a complicated matter…i follow my heart, as always…listen to my instinct, as always…but cannot quiet the chatter of voices within….
as always….

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