twisted

i’m so far
out of whack
i am the letter “i”
but i look
like a “z”
i am so twisted
i don’t even want
to do the little things
that unwind me
do
the little things
that keep me
going
recovery from this mood
seems
impossible
seems
unreachable
when each morning
i wake up
thinking
“today i will get it
together”
but ultimately
i spend the day
just trying not to
fall apart
all over again.

i am thinking this is part of the journey more than a bump in the road. like i have to rest right now. maybe i keep hurting myself because i won’t stop trying to go too fast & too far.
so i’m resting.
just
resting.

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