i realized today
that it is a bit
for me to call
it’s like if a unicorn was all like,
“hello! i’m a unicorn!”
(yes, i’m comparing myself to a unicorn & if you are all like, “as if!” you can just suck it. i am a shiny happy unicorn!)
i wrote this epiphany while hiding in my room on new year’s day after i screamed at my parents about the murder of my cat in the late 1970s.
they left on saturday. my mom was all, “thank you so much! you must visit us in texas!” whereas just two days before she was saying how she was going to spend the rest of her life drunk because of my being such an ungrateful daughter.
dusty suggested she has borderline personality disorder. i just feel sad. because if there actually is something wrong with her and maybe it could have been treated and maybe she could have been a good mom to me instead of always hating me for not being what she thought i should be….
life goes on.
after they left, i felt like i did after my brother died. listless…unfocused…traumatized.
then it switched.
i started feeling free. like i had a second chance at life. like i had dodged a bullet and now i had the chance to turn everything around.
i need to start taking notes and putting thoughts in order and creating the comic that will exorcise this demon for good.