checking in

i have been working on getting my patreon page up & running. i have posted several times for my patrons.
i totally have two patrons!!! yay!!!

i was thinking. for those of you who are as poor as me. if you have a way to do trade, i would totally do that. like i be your patron & you be mine? something like that…i’m trying to figure out a way to be accessible while also making some income.
it’s just a boost to know someone thinks my arts, writings, and random ramblings are worth anything.
it’s nice.

also! i am applying for the sustainable arts award for mother writers & mother artists. it’s a nice award, and the best part is how much i realize i value myself when i fill out the application telling them who i am.

meanwhile, i have gotten to second base with my goat magdalene. she is producing lots of milk which i share with her kid, claudia. claudia gets one teat, i take the other. so i have fresh goat’s milk for my tea.

in other news, i had a weird thing happen last week which i am just getting to in my art journal.
an epiphany? a moment of enlightenment? a breakthrough?

at the very least, a new story, similar to “fallen” in being a fictionalized telling of something real to me–this time about my most formative past life.
so…become a patron & you can hear all about that.

or, just talk to me on google hangouts, & i’ll tell you all about it.

here are some teasers for my patron page:

including a journal page about my little voices and one about my imbolc meditation on longing (for my work on the healing wheel.)
and two pages of illustrations for a collaboration i am doing with benjamin davis on his story fetish.

the image is based on my childhood memory of making my first ever comic series on a chalkboard in my basement. a version of “hey diddle diddle” where the members of the nursery rhyme were some sort of soap opera.

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new moon magic

i call my challenger
i look inside
i call you
wild womyn
to be my challenger
to face my fears
to break down
self-imposed walls meant
to keep me from
action
call me to arms
wild womyn
i am ready
***
i call my healer
i look inside
i call you
unblemished girl
who is still whole &
not
broken
i call you to teach me
again
to whisper magic
to the world around me
to listen
to hear
& to heal
the hurt
deep inside
i am ready.

it’s a new moon. as i work “the healing wheel” i have struggled to do this part. calling my challenger & my healer. so i decided to look inside & see what i could find.
the challenger was easy. i have felt her in there all through my life. now i just have to embrace her & listen to what she has to say.
the healer was a bit trickier as i sought a mother figure, however…
an internal mother figure is strangely absent (thanks, mom) but i found this little version of me. the one who would tromp around the woods rescuing animals & talking to trees. i think she is my healer. i think she will help make me whole again.

so a little witchy woo on this new moon as i continue to try to survive & heal my broken with my art journal self-portraits.
(in case you’d forgotten why i am obsessively drawing myself)

the holly king

maybe I’m not
the asshole
i thought i was.
holding myself to an
unreasonable
standard
(an unreasonable standard
that i am happy to hold you to
as well)
maybe i am just
me
…me
regular
trying to be good
not so bad as i thought
me.

so i drew myself here…as usual.
however, my elaborate eyebrows put me in the mind to give myself holly for hair. knowing that this time of year is attributed to the holly king, i looked into that story for background and learned that the holly king is the darker half (winter half) of the horned god with the oak king being his lighter half (summer half.) i found this strangely relevant as the druid part of me very much identifies with oak trees.
i mean
here i am.
my dark half and my light half.
struggling to find our middle ground….

i dunno.
i thought it was cool.

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