sky goddess

i’m entering in to
a long term
relationship
with a structure
all relationships
terrify me
but also fill me
with an
intoxicating bliss…
anything could happen
me & my house
two damaged
soul mates
looking to be
whole.

the house sale went smoothly, & i was able to buy a house with a cashier’s check (thanks dead mom & dead dad.) the price was super low…one step above foreclosure. i felt sad for the woman who had to sell it, but she seemed at peace with it.
i’m super excited…giddy…a little numb….
i’m hoping i don’t crash again. new house. new book. an earth day art show this weekend. things going a little too smoothly.

the next chapter

this is the rough draft for the cover of my collection of short stories. funny thing, after i did the initial inking, i decided to go back in & give my cover face a crown of thorns (because so many of my characters are martyrs)…as i inked her a crown of thorns, nine inch nail’s cover of the johnny cash song “hurt” came on my pandora mix.
kismit anyone?

other big news. i found a place to live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not iowa, but wisconsin. closer to friends & family & a support system & a future in working with intentional communities & rights of nature, etc.
so–yay! here is a photo of my new neighbors….

also, i finished my sixth journal of my self-portrait series.

i am officially taking a break from self-portraits to work on other projects. i have been playing with my style and really liking what i am doing. here are some sneak peaks from my patreon page….

one of these faces is not like the others (as i end my self-portrait series & begin the next journal)

finally, i started working on my next collaboration with benjamin davis. here is a sneak peek of that….

what would vincent do?

in efforts to stay true to my art
& to myself
i have adopted the mantra
“what would van gogh do?”
…now i find myself wanting
to have drunken fights with other artists
losing body parts
& giving them away
to ones i love.

fuck mainstream comics. fuck “real” art. fuck convention. fuck fitting in. fuck it all. i am what i am.

i want to go back to a more raw appearance for moses jones. back to when she was just a prototype

mjversus2.png

back before i was trying to make her look like the world tells me she is supposed to look. i want my mojo to be rough & raw & ready to fight zombies.

ps. this was the last page of my journal. year of the dog, y’all. new things to come!

finished journal

new moon, new season, new beginnings

after these three pictures are done
there will just be five more pictures left
which is very exciting to me
i am a little over my deadline–
the autumn equinox (tomorrow)–
but i think my work is good?
ish.
i mean, i sometimes hate it…but oftentimes i feel
empowered
yes
empowered by it.
witchy woo and goddesses
and my minions now look at the bunny and say,
“the moon!”

IMG_5433

i closed down my facebook page, my personal one, that i started when i abandoned ship on my original facebook page.
but then i went back, and started it up again–as a back up plan.
then, this week, with depression deep in my socks, i hated everyone for not just fucking taking a minute to “like” the self-portrait you can find in my previous post (and “like” it for fuck’s sakes. it’s cool)
so i shut down the facebook page where i had lots of friends (well, not “lots,” but more than i have on my other facebook page…if you are still following this rant) because i felt neglected.
and i am now on the facebook page from when i first went on facebook…just months before my brother died. the facebook page where i unfriended all of my right-wing friends & relatives before abandoning said ship.

new beginnings.

let’s try this again….

love, art, & tarot

it is not my responsibilty
not my place
to heal your pain
i cannot endure
carrying your damage
along
with
my own.
please stop expecting me
to be your hero
let me heal
my own wounds
& then
then i might be
strong enough
to be
your friend.

i have been carrying the weight of dusty for so long. i just want to put him down & walk away. but he clings to me. so tightly! he wraps himself around me & refuses to let go.
i’m exhausted.
he is refusing to let go of the idea of us.
in my mind we have been dead so long that the smell is starting to waft away as we are turned to dirt by worms. dusty & me. so dead.
but he does his best to keep the wounds fresh.

meanwhile!
i wonder at starting new relationships.
going in new directions.
growing.

if i am karma, and i am used to handing out punishment for bad things done…what happens if i meet someone who deserves the love i can reward?

i did my tarot today as i had an opportunity present itself. my tarot said, “he who hesitates dies alone.”
or, you know, in a nutshell anyway.
me being the nutshell….

in other news!
i sent the minions with dusty for a few days and am getting some loooonnng overdue alone time.
so i’m trying to do art.
i am working on illustrating a story for a friend.

i have rough drafts for 3 out of 19 pages….

wrong way

as i was loading up the inkstain for this inking, i saw several different figures i did not see when i did this drawing. i kind of want to go back & do it with what i see in the ink now. that’s what i get for working while watching doctor who while minions crawl all over me.

wrongway1

i dunno. i’m not sure i like this one. i’m not sure what it is about. if it is about anything. are my pictures really ever about anything? or are they about everything? i draw what i see & what i feel.

but overall, i really do like my work. i really do. i was looking to see what it would look like on t-shirts & mugs…on leggings. i think my ink would be cool on leggings.

and, of course, it would look nice hanging on walls. i have mine hanging all around me. my favorites…or ones with elements that i want to use more. inspirations.

also! my nephews read my¬†moses jones zines & now want to be part of the story. i was like, “what the hell…i can do that.” maybe that’s how i can make money. write personal graphic novels for people. ha! let people star in their own comic.

it didn’t work out so well for my exhusband #2. he wanted to be in moses jones, and that is how dusty was born. i didn’t plan to make him into a “bad guy” or “dead-beat dad” (as one comic review labeled him.) i wrote & drew what i felt, and it turned my ex into dusty knickers.

he will never forgive me for it, either.
oh well.

how is that going, you ask?
great!
though i am still struggling with doing it all on my own, i have not once regretted asking him to leave. i do not want him back. he wheedles and manipulates and tries to wiggle back in, but i am so tough i won’t even go to eat culver’s with him. yes. you heard me. i turn down free culver’s so that i do not have to interact with my ex. that, my friends, is a strength i have not felt in years.
so
yay for me.

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