Tag: motherhood

moses jones page nine

kicking zombie ass for my kids….

you will be happy to know that i have worked on & gotten a bit better at head to body proportions. i have been working on my figure drawing. i’m not sure why my heads get so out of control big… but…yikes…this one is kind of embarrassing for that.

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moses jones page eight

moses jones musings on motherhood.

you know…i didn’t mean to make such a humorless main character…usually i make my lead quirky & dark…& funny. but mojo leapt from my head fully formed & seemingly without a sense of humor.
so fucking serious, moj…what gives?

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illustrator for hire

on wednesday, i go in for a job interview
at the local food cooperative
you know,
working with food
which i am super qualified to do
but
do i want to do it?
yesterday
dropping the reins in a show of frustration
i put iggy & fidget in charge
& took the day off to just draw & draw
& think
wouldn’t it be so super awesome
to get paid
to just draw
& draw?

some of what i drew, is over on my patreon site. a couple of pages of a moses jones study as i get ready to do more pages of my favorite dystopian zombie fighting mama….

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this is my life

i was squatting in a stream this morning to wash the mud out of misha’s clothes when i thought
“this is my life”

how did i get here?
which twists & turns & choices made
led me to this place

i am both grateful for a place to be
to figure out my next step
& anxious
about where that next step will take me.

to help support my journey in exchange for art & writings by me…check out my patreon page.

today on my patron page i share two art journal pages & my recent brush with misanthropy & theories with how isolation feeds a dark part of one’s soul.

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this is what a mother looks like

i asked my kids
if
after i died of throat cancer
from screaming at them
if they would remember
what i said.
they answered “yes”
…but only because they didn’t really
listen
to what i was
saying
i’m not sure how to feel…
my throat hurts.

don’t ask how the packing is going…just…don’t ask….

these are images i did for a watercolor class some years back…a week of illustrations of how i felt as a mom. things haven’t changed too much.

12

between homes

summer 2015
while trying to convince the dad to move away
leaving a “commonwealth” scam
leaving a doorstep haunted by a predatory woman
leaving a sadness that soaked my bones
just leaving, i begged
or not…
i tried to to convince the dad to move away
somewhere cheaper
far away from his predatory “other woman”
i tried
& failed
he would not leave her
& stupidly
i agreed on a rental that would not be open until
the end of
summer
summer of 2015, between homes
bouncing around
crashing, house-sitting, visiting relatives
only to land again
in my own
sadness

i have been thinking of that summer, if only to remind myself that i have been “between homes” with four children before…& survived.
i am hoping that this time i do not land again in my own sadness.
the dad has been trying to convince me to come live with him again….
right???
what insanity would that be?
i have broken free of him & to give up that freedom would surely mean the end of me…
but, i might have to turn to him for temporary shelter. i am trying to find other options, but having a safe place for the minions to be trumps all other concerns. & where the minions go….
i’m trying to be excited about a change, even an uncertain one. i mean, i am excited about it…but also worried sick. i turn every scenario over & over in my head. i do everything in my head, first, preparing myself for anything unexpected.
this is how i survive.

to help support my traveling circus & our search for a forever home, check out my patreon page where i am working on character development of a comic book hero who has been in my head for about five years now….

and being a patron of mine of the $5 a month or more, gets you personalized art postcards like these:

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