goodbye moses jones

so i totally wrote a big long thing in my journal about my ending of moses jones: apocalyptic mama…but i forgot to bring my journal to the library (i do not have internet at home.)

i will, as most things in life, wing it….

i started moses jones when i was living in a 30 person cooperative house with my ex-husband & our three children (fourth on the way.) my life was in turmoil as i was about one bad behavior from being kicked out of the co-op. said bad behaviors were in reaction to my ex-husband having relations with other women in our house all while we had an on-again/off-again relationship.
i was losing my mind.
i was also pursing an art degree at uw madison where i was lucky enough to have an instructor who encouraged me to pursue my own style of art & not to worry if it was popular or not.
if you have read my book confusion perfume & other neurotic comics, you know that moses started out as a transformation of my confusion perfume heroine, berny. however, moses quickly became her own woman. a zombie fighting mama. i did not intend for her to be so bitter & humorless, but much like the portrait of dorian gray, she kinda took that on for me i suppose.
as i worked on my final project for my art class, the beginnings of moses jones, my ex-husband noticed that he was missing from the story. we must have been in an on-again stage because i did try to write him in once i started doing pages for the comic. however, like moses, he did not turn out the way i thought he would…& dusty knickers was born. the absent father.
which pissed off my ex-husband. he will now deny that character is based on him.
i have worked on this comic on and off for nine years. it has grown up with the youngest of my children. i did not get the story out the way i planned. the story took its own path. there is a lot i would do different. there is a lot of unfinished i think i should finish…
yet somehow, the story is done.
i need to let it go.
i cried after i finished this page.
moses jones has been a sort of friend for these past nine years. someone i could turn to who i knew would not hesitate to put dusty knickers in the ground.
but i need to move forward now. past this story and on to a new one.

moving forward

so i finished an ink on canvas piece. it took a bit. i think i like it?

i also have been playing with tea staining my paper.

and thinking about future pieces. like the story about “bluejean & the moonfish” which these inkings are kind of exploring for character development of bluejean. i have been playing with this character since a watercolor course at uw madison in 2014. one of these days i will get her off the ground.

& i continue to mess around with “notta not-a-boy” while mulling over the final page (for now) of moses jones.

and don’t forget my novel in progress…i’m at 41,331 words.

up top: sea garden
ink on canvas
$200 (ish?)

tea-stains: guardian dear & character study
ink on water color paper 8X10
$45

trying new things

are we just bundles
of cells
hurtling through space
on some rock
whose movements
are all do to an attraction
to a ball of gas?
or is there
more….

crisis of faith. right? who’s with me? but if i don’t believe in something greater than myself…what then? it doesn’t help that i have at least two nihilistic little anarchists running around my house declaring there is no point to it all.

fuck a duck.

i am playing around with ink on canvas as i feel my scorpio’s need to keep on growing & transforming. i have a huge (like 3′ X 4′?) sized canvas i want to do a mural on. but first i am practicing on some canvases i have been hauling around with for almost 20 years.

also, i am going to write one (or two) more pages of moses jones before putting her away. i don’t know if she is done or not, but i want to focus on other projects so i am bringing her to a stopping point so i can move on.

there are a number of projects always whirling around in my brain. i think i need to just throw a dart, pin one down, and get busy.

eight years…

wordpress just let me know it’s my eight year anniversary
whoa
how my art
my writing
& my way of viewing myself
the world
& relationships
has changed in eight years…
maybe not anything earth shattering
but
everything
has gotten a bit more proportional at least

this is a character from a story i played around with eight years ago in an art class. a story i still hope to finish developing one day.
eight years ago i was about to give birth to my fourth & final child. i was in an awful & emotionally abusive relationship with the dad. eight years ago i was attending art classes at uw and had just spawned moses jones. eight years ago i was in a lot of pain.
i somehow survived.
now i love & adore my four little monsters even when they are driving me mad. i no longer go to the dark dark places i went to back then–or at least i can still see the light when the dark decends. i can successfully ward off the wooings of the dad (who just this past weekend tried his hand at seducing me again.) i can suffer through the loneliness knowing i am who i am & am not going to accept anything less. i am working on my third publication. i am (slowly) selling art. i am working on a novel while editing two other books i wrote years ago to see if they are publishable….
and! i have my madness manor & my breathtaking view of the hills around me. i have a home–in more sense than one.
i have found my home.

page 61

another page of moses jones: apocalyptic mama.
i have been working on this comic on & off since 2013 when i was in madison, wisconsin, attending university & living in a housing co-op.
my relationship with my ex. my children. and my experiences in a housing co-op have all heavily influenced this comic.
as well as my early exposure to apocalyptic dystopian themes in movies.

one day i hope to publish a collection of these.
one day.

episode three of moses jones

so i am trying to streamline my site. i am down to four pages. AND i updated my mojo page with episode three. so for those of you who have been waiting with bated breath….
those of you waiting for episode four…hmmm. i’m not sure…but when i do get to working on it, i will be posting new pages here as i shut down my patreon site.

make believe

i might be a fictional character
everything about me
a story
i told
after so many stories
how do i know
if i am real
or make
believe.

i am trying to play around with my art…venture away from my portraits a bit. i am finding clarity more again now so i am hoping i can step away from the constant journaling to work on some projects, like–hey! remember moses jones?
also i want to work on turning the story i started developing “stolen” into a longer piece.
plus i need to work more on my novel in progress: a better life through sock puppets….

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