mate for life

i will never forget
his telling me
(his clear blue eyes
dimples so deep that
women gave him whatever
he asked)
“doves mate for life”
he told me
to explain why
when he shot one dove
he would make sure
to shoot the mate
as well
so it would not be heartbroken…
his one small
kindness.

ah yes, my kentucky redneck. a preview of my relationship with dusty. he was a breed of his own–just like dusty. a special kind of damaged brilliance.
i think of him every time i see a lonely dove perched on a telephone wire. not because he was my mate for life–but because of his telling me about making sure to end the suffering of any dove left without a mate. i never really knew how to feel about it.


i wrote this because there is a mourning dove that likes to perch on the telephone wire outside my office window. i often wonder if that dove is my one true love come to wait for me.

the wind beneath my wings

i thought i should seek
a man who could be
my anchor
my rock
my straight man
but…
is that what’s really
best
for me?
being a wonder-seeker
wanting to be amazed
by the magic
in my every
day
shouldn’t i ask for
a fellow seeker?
someone
to wonder with
someone
to be amazed by
i
don’t want to be
anchored
to a relationship…
i want to soar
with someone
who lifts me
up.

thoughts on relationships. i am on a manhunt (it’s a witchy thing) for the month of november. working magic to bring a reality. clarifying what it is exactly i want.
i was telling my friend about the two relationships i had where i felt a bond as a companion rather than a battle for power with a captor (like many of my other relationships.) my friend said, “so you really want that close bond?” (she is a polygamist)
and now, for the first time in my life without any flinching, i am ready to admit–yes
i want a bonded relationship with a man
that doesn’t mean i am not a fierce kick-ass warrior…i can be independent & be in a relationship. i can have both identities and feel good about it.

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