the second page of the latest episode of moses jones.
so far i am doing one page a month.
i need to step that up.
get this story rolling.
i was working on this last night. i felt sad doing it. i mean, it’s my way of putting dusty in the ground so he can’t hurt me anymore…but i still wish it were a different reality where i didn’t have to put dusty in the ground in order to feel safe.
so i saw the real dusty on monday to get the minions back. i started talking about how i had a couple of local WWOOFers interested in helping out on the homestead. dusty then got really quiet & weepy-eyed. when i asked if he was okay, he said it wasn’t the right place to talk.
then he texted me today to talk.
i hate talking on phones. of course he knows this, but never makes it so we can talk in person & refuses to have written correspondances.
so i called him.
he wanted to know why i had tear streaks on my face when i came to pick up the kids. i honestly answered, “i don’t know. i am just generally sad.” which i am. not the greatest way to be, but i am. i am also generally happy. i told him, “i am sad about ways my life has gone.”
then he asked other stuff and before long we were in an argument.
he wants me to still love him & still want him.
i want to feel safe.
he is upset that i am turning to strangers for help when he is willing to help.
but his help comes with too much baggage.
and emotional abuse.
i told him that he has “narcissistic tendencies.”
then when i was talking about how i have to watch what i say around him & don’t want to have to change my personality to avoid misunderstandings with him he basically said, “who’s narcissistic now?”
so you might understand why it is just easier to use a katana….
i have started doing rough drafts because i really don’t like using pencils…even blue ones. so this is the rough for my next page.
are you excited?
(and a little sad)
i started a new page of moses jones after a bajillion years of saying i was going to!!
and it has color!!
exciting stuff going on here.
sneak peak…i should be done by tonight….
i haven’t done many inkings lately with all the other work i have been doing just by surviving my every day. i miss doing art.
however, when i went looking through my old moses jones pages, i was horrified by my art. i was all like, “who reads this atrocity?” (well…no one other than my handful of dedicated fans [i love you]) but that doesn’t mean i shouldn’t try to do better!
before my several months of doing inkings & neglecting comics, i was already frustrated with the style moses jones was starting to take on. i prefer the earlier pages. i super prefer the original moses jones prototype drawings.
so after purchasing a wooden katana (technically a bokken–used for training) at an olde english faire, i felt compelled to do some sketches of some of the characters from moses jones.
it felt good to sketch her again. and to do it roughly. no blue pencil…just ink.
i mean, i guess i just continue the story but alter the art?
or start a new chapter over again since i am only a bit into the new episode & completely forgot that i left lucy in labor at the end of episode two?
i need to start a new chapter. start over–ish.
but first! i need to work more on this project i am illustrating for a very cool woman i know. i have been playing around with that character as well. this is what she will look like:
so now i just need to get her story illustrated.
then! on to moses jones & more inkings….
i can’t tell you how excited i am about this picture.
how excited i am that the whole INKtober experience got me not only drawing every day but also doing a form of art that really resonates with me.
the ink blot
scrying in ink
form of drawing i have been doing.
today my three spirit animal guides showed up in my picture! i put paint on these pages. then i try to keep them away from the minions while they dry. then i pick them up. look at them. turn them. look at them again. turn them.
until i see something.
so i really do not know what i am going to draw each day.
it is an adventure.
as i said before
a meditation of sorts.
so i am pagan–which basically means i am of a nature religion. and i identify with celtic paganism because my ancestors come from western europe where the celts used to run wild before the romans conquered them and introduced catholicism.
i am celtic/pagan. and i read tarot and use medicine cards and look for signs in the every day.
and in my art.
which i have come to feel is my magic
(along with cooking & gardening)
so that’s why i am in love with today’s drawing.
the dog, the bear, and the hawk.
they are my spirit guides.
their visit today in my picture is a comfort to me in a time of extreme doubt.
so it would be like if i were still catholic and found the virgin mary burned in my toast.
it’s like that.
(sorry for the trippy, new-agey blathering…i’m still punk rock.)
ps. more on the dork fest– i wanted to put symbols of the elements on the katana, so i googled “element symbols.” google offered a sub-topic of celtic element symbols and i clicked it and found symbols for the elements that consist of spirals! if you look at my art–i love spirals. i often try to incorporate spirals in my work. they actually calm me down. so! are my ancestors speaking to me through my art?
discuss it amongst yourselves.