zen motherhood

my therapist is helping me a lot with my mothering struggles. he seems to be on my side. which is nice for a change. he says it’s okay that i lose my mind every once in awhile. he tells me i’m only human, & i’ve been trying to dig myself out of this ditch for a long time.

it’s weird that he is so nice to me. i’m not used to being validated.

meanwhile, i keep my eyes open for the julie andrews to my christopher plummer….

& over on my patreon site:

fallen some more

looking for that special someone

heart of squid

disappear

missionary man

all i want

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nothing for free

my brand new therapist says i tend to give it away & then i don’t get any respect & then i end up with lazy men who don’t appreciate me or feel inclined to care about me….

i really like my brand new therapist.

in the spirit of therapy, here are sneak peeks at pages of my art journal over on patron that you cannot see for free…but for the small price of love, respect, and a dollar.

a dream of mud men…terrifying…or is it?

a page on what i would do then vs. what i will do now when a boy dares me….

& a post on what is really safe…what is really sane….

good morning…it’s me

i am now gainfully employed…ish
working just part time
so the minions & my art stay
nurtured.
but my art is not as insistent
as my minions
until i find myself going
a little bit
mad
for neglecting it.

i am enjoying playing with my own style
as well as accepting that it is
what it is…
i look forward to doing some finished pieces–but that might have to wait until i am a bit more finished myself…at least as far as housing goes.

my postings on my patreon page are sporadic as well…but you are welcome to see for yourself for just $1 a month!

today is the day

today is the day
everything
changes
the mantra goes
from personal
to univeral
everything changes
how do you shape
the change?
in your life
in your soul?
how do you
spread change
not
like a virus
but
like a prayer
we whisper
&
we shout
today
is the day
everything
changes
because we no longer
accept
allow
it to stay
the same.

illustrator for hire

on wednesday, i go in for a job interview
at the local food cooperative
you know,
working with food
which i am super qualified to do
but
do i want to do it?
yesterday
dropping the reins in a show of frustration
i put iggy & fidget in charge
& took the day off to just draw & draw
& think
wouldn’t it be so super awesome
to get paid
to just draw
& draw?

some of what i drew, is over on my patreon site. a couple of pages of a moses jones study as i get ready to do more pages of my favorite dystopian zombie fighting mama….

this is my life

i was squatting in a stream this morning to wash the mud out of misha’s clothes when i thought
“this is my life”

how did i get here?
which twists & turns & choices made
led me to this place

i am both grateful for a place to be
to figure out my next step
& anxious
about where that next step will take me.

to help support my journey in exchange for art & writings by me…check out my patreon page.

today on my patron page i share two art journal pages & my recent brush with misanthropy & theories with how isolation feeds a dark part of one’s soul.

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