fine!

so i was talking to michael coates about collaborating with him on some stories he’s written.
like, talking on the phone.
& he lives on a totally different continent than i do. & he talks really fast. & i’m not always sure i can understand when people talk british.
but
i was doing my best.
except, you know the rule (it might be one of einstein’s theories–i can’t remember for sure) something about how much more likely a child will have to immediately-now speak to a parent if they are on the phone?
so that was happening.
at one point my six year old came in to tell me, “clementine says, ‘fine’.”
i tried to remember, as i conversed over the ocean, what the question was that the answer was “fine.”
it was beyond me.
but my not responding fast enough insured that my eight year old then came into the kitchen to tell me, “i said ‘fine’,” repeatedly until i was forced to tell her ‘okay’ to an answer to a question that i had either forgotten or not known in the first place.

when i was little i was convinced people could not hear when on the phone because my mom was so good at pretending i was not there while she talked on the phone.

long story short…i doodled the word “fine” & then doodled a picture that i based this inking on.
fine.
i also found myself adding it to the dialogue in the page of moses jones i am working on.

(i just realized i forgot to add too many shadows…but i will still post it.)

between homes

summer 2015
while trying to convince the dad to move away
leaving a “commonwealth” scam
leaving a doorstep haunted by a predatory woman
leaving a sadness that soaked my bones
just leaving, i begged
or not…
i tried to to convince the dad to move away
somewhere cheaper
far away from his predatory “other woman”
i tried
& failed
he would not leave her
& stupidly
i agreed on a rental that would not be open until
the end of
summer
summer of 2015, between homes
bouncing around
crashing, house-sitting, visiting relatives
only to land again
in my own
sadness

i have been thinking of that summer, if only to remind myself that i have been “between homes” with four children before…& survived.
i am hoping that this time i do not land again in my own sadness.
the dad has been trying to convince me to come live with him again….
right???
what insanity would that be?
i have broken free of him & to give up that freedom would surely mean the end of me…
but, i might have to turn to him for temporary shelter. i am trying to find other options, but having a safe place for the minions to be trumps all other concerns. & where the minions go….
i’m trying to be excited about a change, even an uncertain one. i mean, i am excited about it…but also worried sick. i turn every scenario over & over in my head. i do everything in my head, first, preparing myself for anything unexpected.
this is how i survive.

to help support my traveling circus & our search for a forever home, check out my patreon page where i am working on character development of a comic book hero who has been in my head for about five years now….

and being a patron of mine of the $5 a month or more, gets you personalized art postcards like these:

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