wrapped up in anxiety

so! the little consignment art mart opened up again & since i have been trying to talk myself in to selling my art there for like six months now…i decided i should call them up and set up a time to bring my art in.
as soon as i thought it, the talking heads “love for sale” began playing on my mix.
you may or may not have noticed that i borrowed that title to use for the page of art for sale on this very site….
so i got out my phone & stared at it for a couple of hours…but eventually made the call…& did drop off art there on saturday.
so i am officially “out there” with my art.
at least in a small town in the driftless region of wisconsin….
baby steps.
anyhoo! this page was inspired by that struggle.

circles

the free store i started is a month old now. it is packed full of goodies. so many awesome people donating.

i have only noticed one problem.
all the accolades i have been receiving have triggered my impostor syndrome & sent me into some serious dark & downward spirals.
weird, right?
like when people tell me i’m doing a good thing, i feel like i am somehow fooling them.
when one woman said, “way to pay it forward,” i flinched. of course, for me it is not about karma. it is about giving the people what they need; keeping crap out of landfills; putting one over on the man….
but am i a good person for doing it?
i don’t feel like a good person…
then i start to wonder…if my art took off, would i suffer in a similar way? spin out to a dark & devastated place where i fear everyone will realize i am actually a fuck up in sheep’s clothing?

however, i can’t help hoping all the spinning i have been doing will leave me standing still

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