i was thinking about how i am reluctant to sketch more ponies right now even though i think i do a good job of it & it might have more mass appeal… i think back to that art professor who was all like yeah but what do you really want to be doing?
what do i really want to be doing?
creating stories with my drawings telling stories crafting worlds & characters merging my art & writings in the most perfect way possible.
drawing these pictures, i wondered, who are they? what do they want? what would i do if i set them free?
i might be a fictional character everything about me a story i told after so many stories how do i know if i am real or make believe.
i am trying to play around with my art…venture away from my portraits a bit. i am finding clarity more again now so i am hoping i can step away from the constant journaling to work on some projects, like–hey! remember moses jones? also i want to work on turning the story i started developing “stolen” into a longer piece. plus i need to work more on my novel in progress: a better life through sock puppets….
i’m okay written in the window of a haunted house i’m okay on a chalkboard during a zombie apocalypse the boat sank; i’m okay the train crashed; i’m okay the volcano erupted; i’m okay from rooftop to rooftop from treetop to mountaintop i’m okay whether you are asking or not i’m okay.
that’s a switch, right? i’m admitting that i am okay. and i have some warrior chick riding a panda. i want to start moving back towards comics. i think that’s where this image came from. when i go to illustrate a page, i empty my mind & wait. if nothing appears, i just start inking. however, many times, with enough meditation, i find the image i want–in this case–lady panda warrior.
i’m pretty sure i did not do it intentionally, but susan became an old housemate of mine whom i really did not like (the same inspiration for twinkle the fairy in weener coop.)
six years ago i discovered my inner moses jones & began this comic. i am hoping the prototypes that led to the discovery will appear in my confusion perfume book of comics, so i am not posting them here. however! discovering this comic inside me was a little like coming home. because i do the panels by hand in pen & brush (and because i have four kids & suffer from bouts of depression) the pages have come out of me slower than i would like. but mojo is still my baby.
there were like four more pages of confusion perfume…however, the wonderful tara caribou is planning to publish my comic with a couple other of my comics in a book due out later this year…. what?!? yes, it’s true. while there is no news on my short story collection, tangled together, which was supposed to come out in 2019…now, out of the blue, i have a different book coming out in my medium of choice: comics!!!! so fucking exciting. by the way, should there be a publisher who wants to tackle the short story collection, i think i can safely assume my other publisher has jumped ship.
anyhoo. the last four pages were a change of pace for confusion perfume, less levity…more dark & scribbly. a short story about 9-11-01 that i turned into a comic using berenice beaumont (my character in confusion perfume in case you are just tuning in.) and i decided not to post them to give y’all a little mystery. plus! tara has requested i write little ditties like i like to do, explaining/rationalizing/analyzing my work. so i am totally having a blast doing that. also…maybe brand new never seen before pages????
so what now? well, today, we have quixotic postcards i made years ago at a ‘zine fest when the printer did not have my order of postcards ready & i had to make some up on the fly.
tomorrow? (or the next day if tomorrow is too hectic) pages of my comic in progress: weener coop & by in progress, i mean, i really do plan on getting back to it one day because i think it is totally fucking awesome.
on wednesday, i go in for a job interview at the local food cooperative you know, working with food which i am super qualified to do but do i want to do it? yesterday dropping the reins in a show of frustration i put iggy & fidget in charge & took the day off to just draw & draw & think wouldn’t it be so super awesome to get paid to just draw & draw?
my brain is being pleasantly peaceful & neutral. which is great for me…but usually means no new art journal pages as i have nothing to obsess about right now.
so weird.
but! i decided to take the opportunity of having a vacation from angst to do a new page of moses jones.
fun story…just as i was finishing this page & thinking how i like the way it looks, i spilled a full bottle of black ink onto the page…and my journal…and the floor.
again, my brain took it in stride (i might have someone else’s brain right now) and i quickly chose to salvage the page first, the floor next (not realizing i had also spilled ink on my journal) and then my journal once i realized it was in a pool of ink.
so…thankfully my art is usually messy, but if it seems a bit messier than usual….
& moses jones pages tend to be darker than my other work. but this one might be a bit darker than usual…in more than one way.
i only cried a little while inking it.
Quixotic Mama 