repulsion

i am an experiment
in denial
if i deny all my desires
turn them away
like peter at the gate
pretend i do not know them
do not want
do not need
if i deny everything
i desire
will they come for me
anyway
my desires
attracted by my
repulsion.

this is my thought when i think about trying to market myself. whether it be my art or my writing or my new idea to put myself out there as a homesteading pet sitter…. i cannot bring myself to do anything past making a wish & rubbing my money toad.
seriously.
it’s like i’m hiding away daring the world to find me, but not leaving any clues as to where i might be found.
who does that?

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