this is what i want; this is what i need

what do i need right now?
pornographic emails from a cute stranger?
or a shoulder to cry on
a friend who can listen
do i need to get laid…or do i need a hug
all of the above?
what do i need right now?

turns out i do not need pornographic emails…do i want them? that is a completely different matter. right now, however, i am focusing on my needs. the pornographic emails were nice?…kind of…they made me wonder too much about the motives of the sender…and what it said about me. i mean, attention is nice…but i need the right kind of attention.
i reached out to someone with mental health issues just to check in–and i am not sure what happened after that. it got graphic a lot faster than i was comfortable with….
it was like, jesus, buy a person dinner first.
i never realized a virtual fuckbuddy could be a selfish lover…
you learn something new every day!

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