unappealing

the more they ignore me
the louder i tell myself
i never needed them
anyway
the more unpopular
i am
the more inspired
i am
to perfect being a pariah
the less they see me
the harder i try
to stay
invisible
what happens if…
what happens if i fight
that reflex
what happens if i try
to be appealing…
holy fuck
the mere thought of it
goes against
my very fiber
hmmm
maybe “self-sabotage”
maybe
not
giving
a
fuck
is just how i roll…
i’m too fucking angry
to be appealing
to be soft
to be inviting
is there a way
to seek my audience
without
compromising
who i am?

vision board updates…

so my first attempt at exploring romantic relationships ended abruptly
leaving me wildly optimistic
about my own ability to spot red flags
& re-enforce boundaries
after years of worrying that i would find myself
repeating patterns….
meanwhile, in the area of “finding my audience”
i have been selling more art than ever
& got a note with the latest commission from
main street station
in viroqua, wi
that a group of women discovered my inkings
loved them
& each bought one
dude
for me, someone terrible at promoting myself,
to be discovered by just five strangers
in phenomenal
and that’s not all…
beginning in march
i will be hanging a dozen framed inkings in a fabulous
little cafe
in downtown viroqua.

i went out and spend $15 on thrift store frames, got some “hammered” spray paint, and made what i saw in my head. i was so excited about how these turned out. i am very excited about hanging them for a show.

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