quixotic updates

i am working on this new ink on canvas tentatively titled “foxy.” i really like working on canvas & now that i am down to my last free canvas, i am thinking of buying more for future creations.
that bunny keeps hopping into my art lately. i have even started a children’s book starring him.
fun fact. after i wrote the text for said children’s book, i went to my sun porch, looked out the window, and watched three bunnies eating dandelions in my backyard. i stood & watched for at least ten minutes. if you have never watched a bunny eat a dandelion, you are totally missing out.

in other news, i went through all my journals looking for “fodder” for books & stories. i have decided to focus on one project at a time instead of being easily distracted & starting new projects without finishing old ones. after the children’s book illustrations are done, i will focus on finishing the text & doing illustrations for my novel, a better life through sock puppets.
i am trying to give myself credit for what i have achieved. i let myself be proud of the fact that i found so many random ideas & sketches worth working with! including the above gem from 2016.

so i am not moping. i am rebuilding that fucking tower & giving myself credit for doing a good job with it.
as they say in my home state of wisconsin–forward!

the invisible exhibitionist

i have signed a contract with tara caribou for the publication of the invisible exhibitionist!!! so it is totally happening.

if you need to prep yourself for my collection of self-portraits, be sure to check out my collection of comics & my collection of short stories available over on my “love for sale” page. i also still have copies available to autograph if you are into that kind of thing. just email me.

not your problem

he is a problem
you cannot fix
a puzzle
you cannot solve
walk away, babe
walk away

so there is a serious decline in attention paid to me & my art & writings…which is kinda discouraging. hence my lack of color in this journal page.
luckily, my yogi tea keeps giving me support & love (i haven’t been drinking alcohol but have been drinking lots of tea–the yogi tea has little inspirational fortunes on every bag.)
i’m trying to stay motivated…but, then again, if no one is paying much attention to my obsessive journaling, maybe i need to start going in other directions. maybe i am stuck in a rut?
i am totally working on a novel. slowly.
& comics. slowly.
what else?
inkings with free verse (like my journal pages–but for sale!)

any suggestions? what do you all want to see from me?
xo

from my crow’s nest

(i am re-posting this as i totally forgot to include the illustration last time i posted it–oops!)

it took him years
to pull apart
the fabric of my joy
i guess its a credit to me
that the cloth was strong enough
to hold my joy
through so much sorrow
i must be like a crow
stowing away
bits of glitter
& strands of sparkle
weaving them into a nest
to hold my joy safe from all the hard stones
of pain
& isolation
some strange crow
in a fantastic nest…
now an older me
a wiser me
is tasked with collecting my joy
back to me
once more
rebuild the nest
reweave the cloth.

my ex is in my thoughts a lot with two of our children having birthdays in october. i am trying to give myself credit for surviving him. i did survive him after all.
also! in an attempt to value myself, i have decided to start submitting poems, stories, & art to magazines & whatnot. i haven’t actually done it yet, but i do have a list of possible periodicals to pester.
once upon a time i had the hoo-ha to send out novels & novels to publishers…back when you had to supply an SASE with every mailed manuscript. it’s been awhile since i have had the backbone to put myself in the line of fire for rejections…. but, i am working on it.

ps. misha suggested that this was an inking of the sun & the moon 🙂

maybe some visibility?

i am preparing to publish my third book in two years with raw earth ink.
first there was my collection of comics.
next there was my collection of short stories.
now it is time for my collection of self-portraits.

here is what i am wondering.
would y’all pay $45 for a 310 page book of illustrations & free verse mutterings? at $45 a pop, the books would be 8.5″X11″
another option is to go smaller, to 6″X9″ for $35.
or i could kill some of my darlings and cut the number of pages down by about half to make a $26 8.5″X11″

any thoughts?
i am in the process of removing all my self-portraits from this site (a long long process…so many self-portraits!) so that the only place to find an obsessive amount of my self-portraits will be in my upcoming book the invisible exhibitionist.

thank you for any input!

ps. in my attempts to lure money into my life, i have added a “writer/artist for hire” page
if you want to put a testimonial on my for hire page, i would truly appreciate it! just leave a comment here & i will paste it on to that page. thanks!
pass it on….

the narrative

“the night smelled of grapefruit–“

“Grapefruit?”

“yeah.”

“Really…grapefruit?”

“it’s my story; i can make the night smell any way i want.”

“But grapefruit is more of a morning smell.”

“maybe that’s the point.”

“I’m just saying.”

“what do you want? tangerine? clementine?”

“At least clementine is ambiguous…but why does it have to be citrus at all?”

“because that is what the night smelled like!”

“How about the night smelled of pine & fertile soil?”

“that is a completely different story.”

dialogue has always been my favorite part about writing. maybe because of all the voices in my head? this is a conversation i played in my head one night after i smelled a citrusy evening. i am also drawn more to works that contain more dialogue than description. waiting for godot was a favorite of mine. also rosencrantz & gildenstern are dead.
once upon a time i thought i would like to write screen plays…but then i got distracted by comics.
i just love a good conversation.

inez malstom

being the embodiment of earthly punishments
used to bother
inez malstrom
but now she gets a slight high
just thinking of it
a case of the giggles even
sometimes
she thinks it would be nice
for once
to be an earthly reward…
but that is probably reserved for someone named
jillian.

i have written so many beginnings to stories. you never know. i might finish it…turn it into a comic, a short story, or even a novel, but for now it lives as a journal page.

i think i recently read in a book a quote by a poet to the effect of: i write instead of screaming
for the life of me i cannot access where i read this. i have been reading a lot of books lately.
nevertheless–this is true for me. my writing & my art are what i do to keep from losing my mind. so i take these dark little thoughts and try to make something beautiful (?) out of them…or at least something interesting.

hot off the press!

as of today you can buy my book tangled together from a few different places!
this is a collection of short stories and flash fiction i have been writing over the past thirty-ish years.
the stories range from dark to quirky (sometimes both) and are a good reflection of just how my mind works as well as sometimes being more memoir than fiction being that i often use my writing to exorcise those pesky demons.
also! pictures!! i did an inking per story.


if you want an autographed copy, message me (quixoticmama@gmail.com)…otherwise! pick a vendor 🙂

lulu

barnes & noble

amazon

kindle

heavenly horses

so the story goes, in 1994 i was in virginia attending hollin’s university when one day i was on a walk and found a horse tangled up in barbed wire. the horse actually called me over to it & waited patiently as i untangled it. i knocked on the door of the house i assumed it belonged at, but there was no answer. i wanted to make sure someone knew this horse might need more attention, so i found the stable manager for hollin’s university and told her.
her answer was, “you will get your reward in heaven.”
over the years, i have never forgotten those words. as a pagan, i often turn them over in my mind…trying to understand what they mean.
i have actually used them on my children at times as it sounds like some weird brush off for an over-eager attention seeker…& it makes me laugh to say it.
lately i have started thinking about doing a story called riding horses in heaven loosely based on this.
now i am thinking it will be a graphic novel.
i have started doodling my heavenly horses….

honey bee

he woke up suddenly. wondering. trying to remember
the last time he had seen a honey bee.
he can remember summers as a boy when it seemed
every clover crawled with them & running barefoot
would surely result in a stinger in the arch…
between the toes.
calling out in pain to bring mother running so she
could soothe you with an ice cube and soft whispers
of how you got hurt…but the bee died.
he wanted to be a farmer all his life. he lived
for tractor rides. hide & seek in the cornfields.
the smell of fresh cut hay.

lately my stories begin with scribbled thoughts inked over with drawings. i am not sure ever if i will continue the story or if it will live out it’s life as a post on my blog…. maybe one day i will come back through my journals & collect them all.

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