wrapped up in anxiety

so! the little consignment art mart opened up again & since i have been trying to talk myself in to selling my art there for like six months now…i decided i should call them up and set up a time to bring my art in.
as soon as i thought it, the talking heads “love for sale” began playing on my mix.
you may or may not have noticed that i borrowed that title to use for the page of art for sale on this very site….
so i got out my phone & stared at it for a couple of hours…but eventually made the call…& did drop off art there on saturday.
so i am officially “out there” with my art.
at least in a small town in the driftless region of wisconsin….
baby steps.
anyhoo! this page was inspired by that struggle.

trying to grow

have i properly processed
my feelings?
have i managed to grow
past events
that shackled me
from
years & years ago?
am
i
healing?
am i ready to move
on?
my brain festers that much
less
rabid thoughts
calmed
i stopped
i took
time
i listened to
me…
did it work?

ack! i have not finished the page of moses jones yet. okay…fine…i have barely even started the page.
fear of fucking up. i have to wander past my fear of fucking up.
but if i don’t draw
don’t write
at all…i go a bit mad. just ask the minions.
so it’s another art journal self-portrait to keep insanity at bay.
yay.
the one who i professed my love to…he ignores me. so my little head spins. is he ignoring me because he does not love me back? is he ignoring me because he loves me too much? so i find myself trying to shake off my obsession–
& just live.
just…breathe.

trying to grow.
always

trying to grow

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