irrelevant

i am irrelevant
redundant
pointless

and cannot spell “irrelevant” apparently. thank god for autocorrect.
as spoken of yesterday…loneliness & strong beer kinda made me spin out. or maybe i was just overdue for a visit from my demons…

i drew a cat because my cats are driving me up a wall. plotting against me. hunting my fairies. new house; old cats. we are all figuring it all out all over again.

dancing with the fey

we are the children of the fey
with green blood
running in our veins
a wildness
in our hearts
we dance
to a music
only we can hear
we live by words
everyone else
has forgotten
our purpose
is to bring a remembering
to turn our heart’s music
way
way up
so everyone can hear
so everyone
can dance.

i’m reading a book the way of the wild witch & it resonates quite a bit with me most times. some times not as much…but when the author writes about having fey blood passed on from years ago when the fey & humans were yummy with one another…that totally struck a chord with me
i was all like “of course–that’s why i’m this way!”
feral & green & always feeling like i don’t quite fit in….
so that was kind of cool
& empowering.
weird for a reason, y’all.

third time’s the charm

first
my second ex-fiance
then
my first ex-fiance
reached out to me
on the internets
of late
a ghost of 1989
a ghost of 1993
both
with dark hair
&
brown eyes
both
leos
& not complete fuckers
like many many other men
in my past (& present)
so
reflecting on such
& noticing
things happening in threes
i guess
i wait
with baited breath
for a third
&
fresh
fiance to find me
tell me if you see
a dark haired
brown eyed
leo.

a little art journaling/meditation about my (so far very uneventful) man-hunt.
i do wonder….

so i have my sheep fingers…and now angels/fairies with hands for wings–what do i call them? handy angels? angel fives? clappers?

everyday magic

i haven’t journaled in a few days…i have been relatively angst-free…. but i expect i will be journaling more soon about issues with dusty & my touch & go attempts at reuniting.

but, in this moment of relative peace & calm…here’s to everyday magic.

furthermore…

here’s another art journal page inspired by my religiously intolerant soon-to-be-ex publisher.
i was trying to be understanding of his taking over 2 times what he said it would take to publish my collection & never answering my emails, but his telling me that magic is only in the mind of a human was just too much for me.
so i’m starting from scratch on publishing my short story collection…if you have any recommendations for small presses, let me know.

art in response to fuddy duddies

i had a clash with one of my publishers. i was trying to be a supportive friend in his time of crisis…but then we totally clashed on a religious plane. he is an atheist, & i am pagan. i was willing to accept his position–he was not willing to accept mine.
so i got pissy.
in my defense, a friend of mine drank all my beer so i have no salve for the rabies in my brain.
i got in a big text fight with dusty on the same day.
sometimes i just really need a beer….
anyhoo
i have found that atheists tend to be even more intolerant of other ideologies than christians are.
& this dude proved me right once more.
sigh.
but it has worked out. he has become my un-a-muse-d.

dragon’s fire

so
yeah
the older boys wouldn’t let me play dungeons & dragons
with them…
but really i only wanted to play
because the neighbor boy was so
cute.
i’m not a fantasy nut.
okay…i watch game of thrones
but that is more for the story
than for the fantasy…
sure
i believe in fairies
& think hobbits have it going on…
but i’m not
you know
geeking out on it or anything.

i draw a lot of dragons.
and i might be feeling kind of conflicted about that.
i mean,
dragons?
really?
that’s just one step above unicorns.
i mean,
it’s kind of like unicorns for angry people.
(again, no offense to lovers of unicorns…and dragons)

i don’t know why dragons keep showing up in my art.
and i am feeling conflicted about it.
but at least dragons do kick some butt, you know.
except pete’s dragon.
oh elliot….
sigh.
so i guess i do like dragons.
ones that sing.
holy crap, which isn’t any better than unicorns.

(here’s my ink stain)

inkstaindragon

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