i keep picking the bat card in my medicine card deck. it’s a card of re-birth. before one can be reborn, however, one must die. so i have been trying to meditate one what part of my life i need to let go of.
what part of me/my life just needs to go ahead and die already.
i meditated/napped on it yesterday and kept thinking that i needed to let die all the things that i never got from people. all the things that i wanted, but never got. in relationships.
i just kept thinking about burning away the things “you” never gave me.
“you” started as one past relationship…then became two of my past relationships…then ended up including my parents as well.
all the love i never got.
i’m letting go of that. i’m burning it away on a funeral pyre.
and while i’m at it, i’m letting go of all the things i will never be.

i was going to do this piece the way i usually do, on white paper…but! as i was looking for any paper i could find to do it on, i stumbled across this pad of black paper.
i love the way it turned out. i want to do more on black paper. or other colors of paper.
but first, i need y’all to buy some of my art or books or something because i currently have no money to buy art supplies. so….

i’m not sure if i’m going to sell this piece. for one thing, the paper is drawing paper so it is not very thick & i’m not sure how i would safely mail it. also, i have it hanging up to remind me.
but if someone really wants it, it is 12×18, pencil & pastels on drawing paper.