still got hope in my box

i don’t regret
trying again
i don’t feel stupid
for trying
i am happy
that my capacity for hope
is still
intact
after all these years
after all
of the abuse
of it
&
even if everything
turned out the same…
i am
different.

true story. usually when dusty & i break up i am all like, “what the fuck was i thinking!??!”
but not this time. this time i truly felt like i was looking for healing. looking to move forward.
but when i found out he was not to that place yet (if ever) i was okay with giving up.
i was okay with all of it.
weird.

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