fish fingers & custard

we got the eleventh series of doctor who
from the library
jodie whittaker’s first season
as the doctor
we are beyond excited
i am making fish fingers
& custard
as we have been watching
the matt smith episodes
lately
i could not find custard
in the aisles of a midwestern grocery
& all the pudding had food dye &
corn syrup
so i am making custard from scratch
it is ridiculously
easy to make…
i may suck
in other areas of motherhood
but i know how to
celebrate a new
doctor

in other news…i need to find a place to live. as soon as possible. i can feel the need to be out of here. it sticks to my skin & makes me irritable like time is running out and i do not know what my mom is capable of so i just want to be gone…to be
a ghost….
somewhere
where
she
can
not
hurt
me.

a quick & messy inking of me as the fourth doctor, a man who opened windows in my young mind….

random dreams….

this morning, before i woke up, i had a dream about hamlet, our turkey.
in the dream he could talk & sounded like “strax” from doctor who (which is how i have always suspected he would sound if he talked.)

in my dream someone who hamlet did not like was visiting so he ran up with his head super red and called the guy a “motherfucker.”
then i turned to my kids and said, “who taught hamlet to say ‘motherfucker’?”

which is exactly what would happen in real life
if we had a talking turkey.

(another glimpse into my parenting skills)

quixotic mama greeting cards

okay. so i am sort of keeping up with sending cards. unfortunately, i do not know everyone’s address. so even though your name might be on my calendar, if i don’t know your address, it’s just good intentions.

also, my greeting cards are turning into…well, not cards. which are more difficult & expensive to mail…but i have had complaints in the past about my folding of artwork. apparently people do not like their art work folded.

so here is the latest in my attempts at a homemade birthday greeting. to my entomologist-doctor-who-loving-brother-in-law.
cheers!

greetings earthlings

every day
is me trying to be a better
person
which is hard
when half the time
i’m not sure i’m
human

so realizing how nice it feels to get birthday greeting and how happy my kids get when someone sends them a card, i am trying to send birthday cards–homemade birthday cards to people who are in my life.

this one is for my nephew, who is a doctor who fan.

doctor who?

so
like any good unschooling mother
i am very busy watching doctor who
with my minions.
we are up to series five
in the middle of a binge fest
and i can’t seem to get away
to finish this drawing.

the minions are leaving tomorrow
for a week
to be with dusty in wisconsin.
i am super sad
and i don’t know what i will do without them
and i am looking forward
to resting
and reading
and drawing.
in between the missing them
bits.

so we have to watch doctor who
tonight
because i will have all the time in the world
to finish this drawing
tomorrow.
and i don’t know how
to feel about that….

working on letting go

so i’m working on letting go
letting go of my anger
my abuse
my mistakes
letting go of exes
that i’ve loved & hated
letting go of lost chances
letting go of learned bad behaviors
i’m trying to let go

and i am fucking exhausted
i am everywhere
and nowhere all at once
i am light and dark
jekyl and hyde
i am breaking up the anger
that is in my bones
and pushing it out through my pores

i am letting it all go
into the universe
north, south, east, west
into the elements
earth, fire, air, water

plus the minions keep dragging me off to watch
doctor who with them

long story short
though i am trying to draw every day
i am not getting a picture finished
every day.
but here is what i worked on today:
letting go.

i am not yet done with the ink drawing
the second step after the ink stain
the second layer of ink
i will finish it
then i will use ink & brush
then i will finish with more pen.

stay tuned!

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