dancing with bees

today
a bee stung me
in the face
& then
a “neighbor”
mowed down my ditches
i had left wild
with hopes of cultivating
flowers
for the bees
& then crop dusters
somehow within their
legal rights
dive bombed the fields
around me
leaving poison in their wake
& all i could do was worry
for the bee who stung me
for her sisters in the hive
for her sisters foraging
in the ditches & fields
because i know
without a doubt
& can see
despite my eyes being
almost swollen shut
that their lives
are vastly more important
vastly more meaningful
than mine.

it is not that i think my life is meaningless. well, relatively speaking it is as well–but i was saying all human life is meaningless. seriously. what are we good for? we hurry around this planet acting so important & superior…but what do we do?
we are a plague worse than any other.
we destroy land.
poison water.
kill off species after species.
why? what is our purpose?
the bee is an honest & hardworking creature. one with purpose. look to the flowers & fruit. that is the bee’s work.
have we ever done anything half as important as that?

my misery is evolving into epiphanies about the misery of all of us. this is exciting, right?

ps. check out my face!

bee face2 001

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no wonder

i still wonder
but i no longer
hope
i no longer believe
i look for authenticity
i find…
nothing
people chock full of
nothing.

i probably expect too much of people. okay. i know i expect too much of people…and i have always hoped to prove myself wrong–i mean, that people weren’t phony.
why does everyone seem so phony?
is it social media? i mean, do i now have access to more people; therefore, i see more of the falseness of people? or is it just that people are false by nature?

or maybe i’m just jaded.

okay–back to my hiding place!