cleaning tips

when i clean
a dirty room
i make
a terrible
mess
in the doing…
it’s part
of the process
maybe healing is a lot
like
that
pile everything together
in the middle
of the
room
& then sit
meditatively
picking through
every
single
thing
to see what
is worth keeping
& what
just needs to
go.

since finishing the ardhanarishvara piece my drawing has been a bit crap in my opinion….

i felt terribly inspired while i was working on this, but now i feel a bit depleted.
so we end up with the little mermaid.
upcoming journal page illustrations also feel lackluster to me.
but my writing still feels strong. my self-discovery still feels dead on…. just my inking feels a bit bleah.

so i’m working on my novel. which is fucking brilliant if you ask me.
& i’m gearing up to do a commission for some local anarchist/artist friends.

here i am.
drinking whiskey, feeding the birds, watching the snow, and rebooting.

it’s all good.

cuddle up

winding up
moving forward
exorcising
inspiring
manifesting
a big fuck you
to 2020
with open arms
to the coming
year
c’mere
babydoll
cuddle up
& make my dreams
come
true.

some thoughts on the new year. it’s a fun little rocket ride into 2021. lots of vision boarding & reading of horoscope charts. figuring out my quirks & what i need to work on versus what i need to allow others to worship me for…(haha)
plus working on commissions & getting ready to work on more commissions!

works in progress

i survived mother’s day…just barely
noticing via instagram posts
that i cringe when husbands praise wives
& when i see daughters & mothers together
but am okay with sons & mothers
…hmmm
you don’t need to look twice
to see where my damage is….
but i survived
and will live to see
another
mother’s day
& maybe not be such a
train wreck
next
time….

here are some commissions i am working on. i realize, the more i ink, what my style is exactly–& i try to stay true to it.
i am excited to see how these will turn out…& hopefully the people who commissioned them will be just as excited.

and for those of you wondering about my patreon page:


weighing my heart to find my worth

so i ordered a painting from an artist i adore on instagram
she paints portraits of women from 1950s yearbooks 
but adds bruises & blood to their smiling faces
the piece i bought 
however
was a watercolor heart and a parrot
a very small piece
i did not realize how small until it arrived
but i did not regret the money i spent
because the painting makes me happy
& she included an additional small painting 
of a hawk
& she is a wonderful artist
with a unique eye

two days after i paid $45 for  her 3″x 3″ painting, i sold 10 of my sea creature cards for just $5 a card. 
granted, i sold them to a friend & had not agreed on a price before hand. 
but, i realized
i am totally worth more.

my kids yelled at me when i told them how much i paid for the watercolor–not because i spent money that we do not have on art–but because i am not asking for more for my own art. 

my problem is, i think i am worth the world, but i fear no one else feels that way.
which makes pricing my art, my creations, that much more difficult. 

in other news, my newest muse called for a squid to be added to my collection of sea creatures. 
i was skeptical. as much as i love squid they just remind me of penises (maybe that is why i love squid)
but i am totally in love with how this turned out.  

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