i was doodling during a board meeting as i have trouble sitting still & can actually focus better if my hand is busy my school notebooks are full of doodles & i am sure this is how i excelled as i did scholastically with such a tendancy to let my mind off leash to wander…. anyhoo! when i went to finish the doodle that started with a man & ended with a fish i was pretty impressed with said wandering mind….
i have been working on turning a journal page into a finished work as requested. after two tries, i am not completely happy (but there are many a man who will tell you that is not an uncommon state for me) 😉 & am trying to determine if i should try a third time….
this is not poetry i am not a poet i cannot stress that enough i never imagined myself poetic never ever ever it’s just that free verse is such an easy way to say what i need to say nevermind the rhyme i am not a poet not ever ever i just have a lot to say a lot rattling around in this brain of mine & the easiest way to get it out is to just blurt in free verse.
so i got rejected for the second time by the sustainable arts awards for mother artists & writers. poop i really really could have used the money. also, i can only find rentals that say “proof of employment!” telling me i need to be earning three times what the rent is. the real world just fucking sucks sometimes. but! am i down? am i out? no. for some fucking rainbow shooting out of unicorn ass’s reason, all i feel is hope. so fucking weird.
i wrote the above not-a-poem because one of the critiques of the portfolio i submitted to the sustainable arts foundation commented on my sub-par writing while complimenting my artwork. so! just trying to keep my spirits high…though, again, weirdly they are staying up all on their own.
the above image is what happened when i tried to do a commissioned seascape that included a mermaid. here is the same seascape yesterday before i changed it:
do you see what i did? i put in another shark. it occurred to me as i was trying to fall asleep, another shark would create a “guard” effect rather than suggesting the mermaid was in trouble. or, at least that is my take-away.
the wonderful poet & soon-to-be published fiction writer mike ennenbach asked me to paint the portrait to be used in his book (!!!!!!) thus infecting me with my own writing bug so i have been absent both to paint his portrait & to work on putting together a fiction collection of my own….
but do know that i miss you & am sorry i have fallen so far behind on reading your posts. you know i love you & miss you like crazy.