goodbye moses jones

so i totally wrote a big long thing in my journal about my ending of moses jones: apocalyptic mama…but i forgot to bring my journal to the library (i do not have internet at home.)

i will, as most things in life, wing it….

i started moses jones when i was living in a 30 person cooperative house with my ex-husband & our three children (fourth on the way.) my life was in turmoil as i was about one bad behavior from being kicked out of the co-op. said bad behaviors were in reaction to my ex-husband having relations with other women in our house all while we had an on-again/off-again relationship.
i was losing my mind.
i was also pursing an art degree at uw madison where i was lucky enough to have an instructor who encouraged me to pursue my own style of art & not to worry if it was popular or not.
if you have read my book confusion perfume & other neurotic comics, you know that moses started out as a transformation of my confusion perfume heroine, berny. however, moses quickly became her own woman. a zombie fighting mama. i did not intend for her to be so bitter & humorless, but much like the portrait of dorian gray, she kinda took that on for me i suppose.
as i worked on my final project for my art class, the beginnings of moses jones, my ex-husband noticed that he was missing from the story. we must have been in an on-again stage because i did try to write him in once i started doing pages for the comic. however, like moses, he did not turn out the way i thought he would…& dusty knickers was born. the absent father.
which pissed off my ex-husband. he will now deny that character is based on him.
i have worked on this comic on and off for nine years. it has grown up with the youngest of my children. i did not get the story out the way i planned. the story took its own path. there is a lot i would do different. there is a lot of unfinished i think i should finish…
yet somehow, the story is done.
i need to let it go.
i cried after i finished this page.
moses jones has been a sort of friend for these past nine years. someone i could turn to who i knew would not hesitate to put dusty knickers in the ground.
but i need to move forward now. past this story and on to a new one.

page 61

another page of moses jones: apocalyptic mama.
i have been working on this comic on & off since 2013 when i was in madison, wisconsin, attending university & living in a housing co-op.
my relationship with my ex. my children. and my experiences in a housing co-op have all heavily influenced this comic.
as well as my early exposure to apocalyptic dystopian themes in movies.

one day i hope to publish a collection of these.
one day.

fort building

here is a box of me
a box of my comics
my art
my thoughts & stories
here is a box
that kind of
terrifies me
no one is going to want this,
i tell myself
oh fuck…what if someone reviews me?
how will i answer them
when they ask me,
who the fuck do i think i am….
remember
when you were 17
& you just knew
you were
destined
for greatness
ready to take on the world
a famous novelist
in the making?
what ever happened
to
that
girl?

so, yeah…. if you want an autographed copy of my book, let me know. meanwhile, i will be using them as weight while building my blanket fortress of solitude….

weener coop page eight

so here is where i discovered the ink brush method of shading. i was going to uw art school at the time & had an “aha!” moment with ink brush painting as opposed to scribbling in the dark bits.

also, for some reason, i put panels in.
hmm?
the dialogue does not seem to be very linear, but with perseverance, you might be able to make sense of it.

between homes

summer 2015
while trying to convince the dad to move away
leaving a “commonwealth” scam
leaving a doorstep haunted by a predatory woman
leaving a sadness that soaked my bones
just leaving, i begged
or not…
i tried to to convince the dad to move away
somewhere cheaper
far away from his predatory “other woman”
i tried
& failed
he would not leave her
& stupidly
i agreed on a rental that would not be open until
the end of
summer
summer of 2015, between homes
bouncing around
crashing, house-sitting, visiting relatives
only to land again
in my own
sadness

i have been thinking of that summer, if only to remind myself that i have been “between homes” with four children before…& survived.
i am hoping that this time i do not land again in my own sadness.
the dad has been trying to convince me to come live with him again….
right???
what insanity would that be?
i have broken free of him & to give up that freedom would surely mean the end of me…
but, i might have to turn to him for temporary shelter. i am trying to find other options, but having a safe place for the minions to be trumps all other concerns. & where the minions go….
i’m trying to be excited about a change, even an uncertain one. i mean, i am excited about it…but also worried sick. i turn every scenario over & over in my head. i do everything in my head, first, preparing myself for anything unexpected.
this is how i survive.

to help support my traveling circus & our search for a forever home, check out my patreon page where i am working on character development of a comic book hero who has been in my head for about five years now….

and being a patron of mine of the $5 a month or more, gets you personalized art postcards like these:

moses jones…episode three page eight

another page! i like how this one turned out. i don’t always like my work (shhh, that will be our little secret) but i really like this page.

(yes, my art is messy–mostly on purpose–but, again, some of the ink stains are actually from my scanner & my seeming inability to clean it)

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