so here is where i discovered the ink brush method of shading. i was going to uw art school at the time & had an “aha!” moment with ink brush painting as opposed to scribbling in the dark bits.
also, for some reason, i put panels in.
the dialogue does not seem to be very linear, but with perseverance, you might be able to make sense of it.
one of the best parts about living in a cooperative house–house meetings!! just be sure to bring alcohol.
while trying to convince the dad to move away
leaving a “commonwealth” scam
leaving a doorstep haunted by a predatory woman
leaving a sadness that soaked my bones
just leaving, i begged
i tried to to convince the dad to move away
far away from his predatory “other woman”
he would not leave her
i agreed on a rental that would not be open until
the end of
summer of 2015, between homes
crashing, house-sitting, visiting relatives
only to land again
in my own
i have been thinking of that summer, if only to remind myself that i have been “between homes” with four children before…& survived.
i am hoping that this time i do not land again in my own sadness.
the dad has been trying to convince me to come live with him again….
what insanity would that be?
i have broken free of him & to give up that freedom would surely mean the end of me…
but, i might have to turn to him for temporary shelter. i am trying to find other options, but having a safe place for the minions to be trumps all other concerns. & where the minions go….
i’m trying to be excited about a change, even an uncertain one. i mean, i am excited about it…but also worried sick. i turn every scenario over & over in my head. i do everything in my head, first, preparing myself for anything unexpected.
this is how i survive.
to help support my traveling circus & our search for a forever home, check out my patreon page where i am working on character development of a comic book hero who has been in my head for about five years now….
and being a patron of mine of the $5 a month or more, gets you personalized art postcards like these:
i call my challenger
i look inside
i call you
to be my challenger
to face my fears
to break down
self-imposed walls meant
to keep me from
call me to arms
i am ready
i call my healer
i look inside
i call you
who is still whole &
i call you to teach me
to whisper magic
to the world around me
& to heal
i am ready.
it’s a new moon. as i work “the healing wheel” i have struggled to do this part. calling my challenger & my healer. so i decided to look inside & see what i could find.
the challenger was easy. i have felt her in there all through my life. now i just have to embrace her & listen to what she has to say.
the healer was a bit trickier as i sought a mother figure, however…
an internal mother figure is strangely absent (thanks, mom) but i found this little version of me. the one who would tromp around the woods rescuing animals & talking to trees. i think she is my healer. i think she will help make me whole again.
so a little witchy woo on this new moon as i continue to try to survive & heal my broken with my art journal self-portraits.
(in case you’d forgotten why i am obsessively drawing myself)
like a mix tape
stuck on a loop
off of flowers
loves me not
surely loves me
at least a little?
how about now?
at least give me my heart
i’m surely sure
i need it
if i want to survive
long ride on a
& please don’t
to figure out
all on my
in our ever-loving & slightly incestuous wordpress community, there is the inevitable inspiration via another blog.
after reading mike’s post about icarus, i was all like, crap–i haven’t done me as icarus yet.
so here you go.
i am the sun (look at me shine) that i fly too close to…but, my wings are not melting. goddammit, i am not falling. i am going to fly right into my own light. just you watch me.
make a choice
play around on
swiping under the influence
yes, lonely eats like a
at your heart
after a couple of glasses
don’t waste you
don’t waste your creative
on men who don’t even stop
to your magic…
drink your whiskey
your masterpiece of you.
happy new year, y’all. here’s me as a flapper with some side boob. let’s see if that holds you over until 2019.
this is about as close to having a new year’s resolution as i get.
(i’m not drinking alone; the fruit flies are dying for some whiskey.)