he lures me outside with a cigarette
he wants “to talk”
he always wants “to talk”
except when it mattered
years & years ago
& years not so long ago
when i tried
& tried & tried & tried
to get him to talk to me….
he’s leaving again
i’m making him leave
& he is sad
& i try not to let his sad seep into my soul…
once the talk is done
we come back inside
& as i remove my coat
the necklace that he gave me for a birthday long ago
falls from its place around my neck
a broken cord
…how much more symbolic can you get?
this self-portrait got away from me. i ended up looking like my mom…again. or tom waits…and what the fuck is up with the coloring?
with all of these journal pages, i think i will re-do them as a finished piece…one day…if i like them enough.
maybe then this one won’t look the way i feel inside.
(or is that a good thing–art wise?)
while doing this, i also did a collaboration with misha who wanted me to paint the hand she had drawn. i like the way this one turned out. i think we should print it up and sell it. misha can do all the sales though–she may not speak coherently, but she has oodles of personality & charisma…probably inherited from her dad 😦
part of my process
when i am getting familiar with a character
is to draw that character over & over
until i have gotten to know her.
i really like this character
i am excited about being part of her story
i also started another ink stain drawing
it’s kind of chaotic, but i think i can pull it off
that’s part of the fun for me
out of chaos
that is actually my life
gluing together the good bits
arranging the parts that work
filling in the blanks and drawing out the whimsy
to make a perfect picture…
or something like that.
a friend asked me to illustrate her story. this is an ink i did in my process of figuring out how i want the characters to look. it’s just a mess around rough draft, but i really liked how it turned out. my months of doing ink stain work has shaped my drawing skills and given me lots of fodder for other projects.
i’m excited about working on this project. it is my first chance to work as an illustrator. other than my own stuff, that is.
i like collaborating. i always have. i have found that i work well with others. either flushing out their ideas or letting them help me flush out my own.
i hope that this is the first of many collaborations & illustration gigs.
i haven’t gotten much art done.
i have tried to milk sheep with minimal success.
i have been growing seeds for spring.
i have been putting in beehives.
and raising up more chickens.
and planting potatoes…(no picture here because planting potatoes is not really a photo op)
ah. the life of a homesteading artist.
and sheep, chickens, and bees.
and, of course, the dysfunctional relationship that i am working really hard to avoid dealing with.