focus III

the trick to clarity
to focus
is to recognize it
to capture it
quietly
quietly
do not spook it
use it
when you find it
it is not
something you can keep
in a jar
like dead fireflies
clarity
focus
is an eyelash
to make a wish on
before it blows
away
do not
waste
that wish.

one last one on clarity & focus? after 30 or more years of pretending i didn’t know how to, i have started meditating. working on breaking down walls i have built. working on letting good things into my life instead of letting them drown in my moat….

another illustration i really don’t care for. that happens sometimes…but here it is, i’m not hiding anything from y’all. you get to see it all, even the bits i’m not at all proud of….

behind the curtain

the man behind the curtain
my inner wizard
my obi wan
says to me
“you have had it
all
along.”
focus
i realize this is true
when i hear a friend
admire my tenacity
with my art
journaling
&
self-portrait series
my
dedication
to my freestore
project
my focus
i had it
all
along.

funny how that works. i have longed for focus for so long that i have not even realized that i do have it. i start something–i see it through.
sometimes it takes a long time,
but i do
i finish what i start.
and that is really something i never realized about me.

focus II

“focus,”
the universe whispers
to me
with promises of
clarity
(a thing
i have sought
for how long now?)
with focus
i achieve
clarity
with clarity
i will see
everything
nothing
will be hidden
i will be able to look
i will be able to see
which is maybe
why
i have chosen for so long
to embrace
distraction.

i have done so much to keep myself distracted. not meditating because “i don’t know how” or “i just can’t focus.” but what happens when i actually do try to focus?
i think i will surprise myself.

focus

focus
just
focus
sounds easy right?
except
i have designed
a life
full of
distractions…
focus
just
focus
it’s my mount everest
my moby dick
if i could only
focus
nothing could stop
me.

going off of yesterday’s post, i came to realize that i need to find this mythical focus. it’s something i have always thought was impossible…but since starting down the path, i am really surprising myself.

three dreams

in three dreams now
i have been
on the last day
of my
island vacation
getaway
if i dream something
once
i may not think too hard
about it
but three times?
three dreams is my
subconscious
saying
“hey!”
so…
three times dreaming
of a holiday ending
can only mean
get back
to
work,
right?
time to focus
time
to make
this motherfucker
manifest.

i’m not sure what motherfucker. my family? my art? my inner work? all of it?
i’m still figuring that much out, but no more dreams of vacations ending recently, so i must be on the right track.
i have been journaling a lot about focus & clarity since i wrote this page…. i think the universe is pushing me towards that mountain of mine.

on a note about the illustration, i guess my catholicism is showing in that my image of the universe is very much a madonna image.

collecting my thoughts

words cascade
out of my mind
as i go about my every
day
& i stand under
the waterfall of them
with a bucket
catching only a precious
few….
ideas
fall around me
swirling in the wind
as i struggle to collect
them
but they are gone
before i even know
if they were leaves
or birds….

this is a re-occurring theme for me. i struggle for focus thinking clarity is just around the next corner & if only i could find it i would be that artist, writer, person i want to be.

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