INKtober fifth

what do you do
if you realize
you are still in love
with the person
you hate?
hey–
remember when you
were friends?
remember
when he was your best
friend?
wait–
why are you doing this?
why are you torturing
yourself?
is this just another
“i’m lonely & looking
to fill in the blanks?”
is this just your way
of never
healing?
what is it with you
anyway?
shouldn’t you have
gotten
over
him
already?
or…things like this
the lost forever
is it even
possible
to heal
that
wound?

so, okay, i’m already hell-bound, but i so love catholic art. and, you know, i noticed yesterday that the inktober prompt was “spell” and i did a picture based on swan lake–a fairy tale where people are under a spell.
and today, the prompt is “chicken” and i did a picture based on saint peter–that jesus-denying motherfucker.

blasphemy.
such a fun word.

anyhoo! my art journal inktober fest continues as i delve into that conundrum of feelings i have for my ex-husband. i love him…i hate him…i love him…i hate him. my roller coaster relationship.

do i want to try again? or am i just horny?
more at ten….

(is it me or do my boobs & mommy tummy look better when i’m hung upside down until dead?)

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this my sacred heart

so i was raised catholic–which heavily influenced my love of dark art (as in macabre paintings–not black magic), incense, and organ music. it also encouraged my fascination with religion.

i realized i was actually pagan as a young adult–though it was obvious in retrospect considering that i watched for god in the clouds and talked to trees and surrounded myself with spirit animals as a child.

anyhoo–these two influences, catholicism & paganism, show up in my art a lot.

this picture seems ripe with symbolism, but i leave that to you, the viewer. i am not going to say what it is or is not about. i like to make the art and leave the interpretation of it to someone else.

plus!

i woke up this morning. started doing yard work, gardening, taking care of critters. then stopped to come in and make a vegetable mung bean noodle stew. i make egg noodles from scratch, and they are soooooooo yummy…but very time consuming.
after eating i immediately started today’s drawing because i knew i would not have time tonight because…
oh yeah, i’m going out.
i’m leaving the house.
i’m having grown up time with a friend.
(yay!)

so i leave you to psycho-analyze my art and figure out what the fuck is going on in my head.

ps. here is the original ink stain…

inkstains-2