some may think I'm just a fool tilting at windmills, but maybe I'm not
i updated my store page here with some more recent inkings…i am also trying to get up the nerve to put things in a physical space here in driftless wisconsin…. we’ll see how that goes.
i mean i bought sleeves and everything…i’ve even put some of my art into the sleeves….
though i can’t figure out how to price them & want to just put a sliding price tag on….
my kids think i’m an awesome artist….
the free store i started is a month old now. it is packed full of goodies. so many awesome people donating.
i have only noticed one problem.
all the accolades i have been receiving have triggered my impostor syndrome & sent me into some serious dark & downward spirals.
weird, right?
like when people tell me i’m doing a good thing, i feel like i am somehow fooling them.
when one woman said, “way to pay it forward,” i flinched. of course, for me it is not about karma. it is about giving the people what they need; keeping crap out of landfills; putting one over on the man….
but am i a good person for doing it?
i don’t feel like a good person…
then i start to wonder…if my art took off, would i suffer in a similar way? spin out to a dark & devastated place where i fear everyone will realize i am actually a fuck up in sheep’s clothing?
however, i can’t help hoping all the spinning i have been doing will leave me standing still
yesterday the olde english faire got rained out & we didn’t get to see jousting or birds of prey or raunchy pirate shows. i was so looking forward to losing myself in the festival for a day. instead i spent the day waiting for the rain to stop.
except yesterday was the longest day of the year & it rained & rained & rained some more.
and with the impending status of being “between homes” the minions are losing their little minds & my skin is crawling off of me to just stay sane enough to deal with their excited & agitated energy.
now i just feel weepy & like drinking away my sorrows while binge-watching marvel shows on netflix.
so i’m not getting much art & writing done at all…but i did do this goof-off inking of cats.
not really cataclysmic, i guess…but it does make one wonder why so many words like “cataclysmic,” “catatonic,” & “catastrophe” start with “cat”…hmmm….
