buy more art

i updated my store page here with some more recent inkings…i am also trying to get up the nerve to put things in a physical space here in driftless wisconsin…. we’ll see how that goes.
i mean i bought sleeves and everything…i’ve even put some of my art into the sleeves….
though i can’t figure out how to price them & want to just put a sliding price tag on….

my kids think i’m an awesome artist….

speaking of damaged masterpieces…

when i did this american gothic self-portrait in my art journal last summer, i did it with some free verse about corporate farming.
however,
as i draw & paint a final draft of it today, i feel like it is a commentary on patriarchy.

i really love love love how it turned out. i worked really hard on it, praying the whole time i would not fuck up nor would i be attacked my crazed minions. at one point misha was chasing bluejean around my feet as i worked, and i had the foresight to step away and wait for her game to move away from my desk.
my art skills seem to be cooperating with my ideas these past few days. (thank you art fairies!)

so
mansplaining and the whole phenomenon of men just feeling the need to tell me how to live my life. men thinking they know me better than i know me.
fuck a duck, y’all.
i might be lost, but goddammit i am not asking a man for directions.
as much as i love y’all for having cocks & all–don’t act like one.
i will burn this motherfucker down.
i’ve got the match.

if things are a bit wonky….

okay…so i am trying to make my site look a little less chaotic.
a bit more “professional,” make it easier to identify art for sale, etc.
i am not skilled at web building. i am more of a cricket than a spider. …or a mantis…. can i be a mantis? they get to eat heads & stuff.
anyhoo.
i am playing around within my own limitations as well as the limitations of a free wordpress website. however, if anyone wants to donate any help or do it for trade. i am open to suggestions.

speaking of art & being a working artist…
i have been working on illustrating a story for an awesome writer. i am nearly done with it, & wanted to put out this teaser to get y’all excited for that. (i’m excited for that.)
i will keep you updated.

 

quixotic mama greeting cards

so i haven’t made any cards in awhile despite my determination to send actual birthday greetings for birthdays. i mean, i did not get an actual birthday card in the mail on my birthday which made me a little sad & jaded….
however!
my little sister sent me another box of chocolate from germany–so i wanted to make her a thank you card.
also!
a wonderful friend of mine has a birthday on halloween–so i wanted to make her a birthday card.

narwhal

and i was having so much fun that i made a couple more…with aspirations to continue this series & be ahead on the card making.


also, these are ink brush paintings on 6X6 watercolor paper–if anyone is interested in buying one i have made already or commissioning one. just let me know.

unraveled

i don’t have any love left in me
like watching a cyclone
of bath water
circling the drain
is how it feels inside
me
when i look to see
if i have any love
left.

fuck. i just got another short story rejection. fuck. why does everything have to feel raw & calloused all at the same time?

i need to figure out, as always, how to make money. i am thinking…erotic comics? too bad i am so easily embarrassed by anything sexual. i’m going to go practice drawing penises now…circumcised or no?

fuck.
it would definitely help if a certain someone actually paid child support so i could buy my minions socks & underwear…. but, you know, some people are too special to work & have responsibilities. why grow up when you have me to take up your slack?

my flavor of the day: extra bitter.

quixotic cards…

i have no interest
in ever making cards
for money
though if someone wanted to buy some
i wouldn’t say no….

what i mean is…
there seems to be a capitalism bone
missing from my body

i love to do what i love to do
but i don’t want to do it
for money

money is dumb

here is the first card for my february calendar of birthdays. one of my nephews. he has never liked me. i used to take care of him as a baby, & he would so give me the stinkeye. but! always time to build better bridges…until it’s too late, that is….

anyhoo!

i missed at least three birthdays in january. i have managed to make a grand total of two birthday cards this year.
but, hopefully, i will continue this little exercise
in being a better aunt, cousin, sister, friend, & person.

in complete opposition to my short poem about capitalism sucking…i would like to let you know that if you forgot to get me a valentine, it’s not too late. you can buy yourself a copy of the book i illustrated–mistress of mud–to show how much you love me!

little bits of me

i have determined that i am
unable
unwilling
to sell myself
henceforth
you can have my pretty pictures
i merely ask
you give me what you believe
a piece of my soul
is worth

art for resistance

i have an inbox full
of requests for donations
to resistance movements…
but i am so so broke.
how about,
if you buy my art,
i will donate 10% to the resistance movement
of your choice.
then we can both feel better
& you have supported an artist!

i am working on getting those less expensive pieces
ready . they will probably be priced at $75 to $125 a piece
depending on how much i worked on them.

saint valentine’s day massacre

i am a mess.
i can’t seem to create.
i am all grumpy & screamy & desperate for space from children…& closeness with a grown up.

i tried to do an inking yesterday. it sucked ass. and then a minion got something on it. so i burned it in the fireplace.
it was called “unraveled”

yesterday i also got the bright idea to make valentines.
so i spilled red ink all over the place.
now i actually have to find the focus to make them.
when all i feel like doing is hiding in the closet with a bottle of whiskey.

i used to love valentine’s day.
you know, when i was stupid & optimistic
(i still am…now i call it “quixotic”)
i have no good experiences on which to base my love of valentine’s day.
just that annoyingly optimistic willingness to be loved.
i want(ed) so badly to be loved…that i was willing to enter hopefully into every valentine’s day.
i have never been the type of girl to get flowers from boys. no matter how much i wished it.
i’m just not that girl. i don’t know why. and sometimes i let it break my heart.
usually after i have a charlie brown valentine’s day.

i have written about my lost love of my life.
the one i have finally accepted that i will never get over (which really doesn’t make it that much easier to live with–my acceptance of my infliction, that is)
when our relationship came to it’s terrible conclusion, it was valentine’s day. he was in love with someone else, so he got me something i really wanted for valentine’s day.
a pair of white wingtip doc martins.
and i knew i had lost him.
guys only get me good stuff when they feel guilty about something.
that’s what i have learned over the years.
i get guilt presents.
not love presents.

i’m not a materialistic person. but i do like getting presents. i like flowers. i like feeling special. i like feeling like someone loves me.

i’m struggling with this so much right now. this crappy loneliness and heartbroken bullshit. i’ve had two lonely marriages. i have two ex-husbands actively regretting that they treated me so callously. do either of them get me flowers or a bottle of whiskey?

no.

they just lament treating me like crap.
loudly.
as if that helps.
it doesn’t.
because then all i wonder is where this devotion was when i was in love with them?
i’m not anymore.
i’m not in love with them.
but they behave as if i should welcome their renewed love
with open arms.

but, still, no flowers
no chocolates
no whiskey

and the one man who i want to hear renewed devotion from
remains quiet
except for the occasional flirty text:

what’s better than roses on your piano?

tulips on your organ.

and that’s the closest i get to a man giving me flowers.
and the closest i get to having a sex life.
sigh.

well, to make myself even more miserable
i put a price tag on my art.
to make myself feel even more rejected
i am putting my art out there…ish.

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