some may think I'm just a fool tilting at windmills, but maybe I'm not
i have just been craving
some literal
hands on artwork
so i found some pencils
to add to my inks & oil pastels
i haven’t used pencils in forever
i poo-pooed their eraserability
but now i find myself desiring
the scribble & smear
of charcoal pencils
i can’t help but wonder
what it means
about me….
(up top: “escape” 9X12 pencil, ink, & oil acrylic on watercolor paper…suggested price of $75)
it’s the pagan holiday of samhain
the pagan new year’s
also, the day of the dead
the thinning of the veil
where the dead
creatures from other realms
& other creepsters
(like me)
come around
looking for love….
as a witch, this is a powerful time of year, and a good time to do a lot of personal & magical work. i like the effect it is having on my art 🙂
“over-buttered popcorn” (i let my son name it & his cat’s name is popcorn) …9X12 ink & pastels on watercolor paper…suggested price of $60
feeling a bit creepy
and it shows in my art
this is the one day of the year
i wear make-up
i will be answering my door tonight
as a gruesome ghoul
& handing out monster
cookies.
“flower garden massacre”… 9X12 ink & acrylics on watercolor paper….suggested price of $60
don’t forget to check out my “love for sale” page for new inkings & all my available books.
also! i am always available for commissions or collaborations.
…there you are
up top: “patron saint of miserable mothers” …9X12 ink on watercolor paper
all pieces are a suggested price of $60 with $5 for shipping
exploring my relationship
with patience
exploring my non
relationship
with patience
i want it now
now now now
patience, that is
i want it now…
alas
though i do not prescribe to
good things come to those who wait
i do believe
if it is worth having
it is worth fighting for.
i can’t tell you how many letters i have written to this man since i have broken my knee. it started out like one a week…now it is two or three a week? i have so much to say to him…but he still has nothing to say to me. nevertheless, i keep writing. not knowing if the letters are opened or not. read or not. maybe that isn’t even the point. maybe it is all just an exercise in patience.
in knowing what i want & fighting for it.
i have realized, on the topic of vulnerability, that i do feel vulnerable to him…& maybe that is why winning him back–in one capacity or another–is so important to me. i cannot be vulnerable to just anyone. but i am to him. open & exposed.
in other news…
i have been going to an energy worker/chiropractor for a few years now. river of ahz in viroqua. he is totally worth it. i have seen him for my knee (& the resulting chaos to the rest of me) twice now. both times, after, my knee has felt like a new knee.
today i am even walking with just one crutch instead of two.
& i have put a rubber tip on my bokken to use it as a walking stick as i try to wean myself off of the crutches altogether.
& speaking of breakdowns…i have not even had one today–despite the usual challenges of motherhood. so we can set the sign to 1 day since mom’s last breakdown.
yay!
queen of breakdowns…9X12 inking on watercolor paper…suggested price of $45 to $75
you know what?
i don’t need an editor because i fucking rock at grammar, etc
what i do need
is a test audience
readers
who want to read my novel
& answer a few questions for me
general feedback
like
do you like me…yes or no?
can you fit your fist through any of the holes
in the plot?
that kind of thing
my only taker so far is my younger sister aka my polar opposite. i am willing to let her read it because she does get me–at least sometimes. and we did come from the same place even though we took different exits (i was vaginal; she was a c-section; i ran away to become a fry cook; she went to college, etc….)
who else wants to read a better life through sock puppets? a darkly funny story of a runaway suicidal mom? yay!
just remember, in critiquing it for me…break my heart gently.
“break my heart gently” ink on watercolor paper. 9X12. suggested price: $45 to $75
thank you to everyone who bought art from my sale! you all are wonderful.
i’m struggling right now with the fact that being able to put weight on my leg does not mean i am back to normal. i’m sure that is a sign of the way i approach life, just assuming i can do it without putting in the work? expecting to be a success from the word “go”?
ack…doing the hard work….
instead i laid on the floor today crying because i cannot do an extended child pose in yoga. not to mention most of the other poses i did effortlessly before this.
doesn’t that count for something? that i used to be able to do it…just 3 months ago??
so i guess i have to take the long way.
again.
ppbbt.
daily nightly…9X12…$45-$75 (sliding scale)
i have been enjoying doing ink on canvas. it is a different process. i have to think more about what i am doing. i guess i’m exercising a new part of my art brain.
this one was inspired by a journal page. i’m not exactly sure what is going on. i keep staring at it & trying to figure the story out.
my art is always always always about the story.
speaking of which. i have been doing some brainstorm doodling. i am on the verge of a new comic (that might be a mishmash of many other ideas from other stories playing in my head these past seven years.) right now it is percolating…& doodling….
up top: “veronica”
16×20 inking on canvas
$200 plus shipping
mostly i’m just staring at blank pages
blank canvases
a busy mind
spilling ink
& seeing what happens….
so this past week i have spent $300 that i don’t have to pay two different plumbers for a total of 15 minutes of work. i am broke as a joke & living on credit and praying to the universe that art sells…that books sell…that this job comes through…that my ex gets a job & starts paying me child support again…that i somehow win the award issued by the sustainable arts foundation despite four or so failed attempts to win it in years past….
i need to learn plumbing…in addition to carpentry & tiling.
or sell art so i can afford to pay for help.
up top: “gretchen”
20X16 inking on canvas
$200 plus shipping
left: “clarice”
8X10 inking on watercolor paper
$40 plus shipping
right: “lambkins”
8X10 inking on watercolor paper
$40 plus shipping
i feel like anger
has been woven into me
& now
i need to undo all these fibers
work backward
get the knot out
the fucked up stitch
& re-weave myself
into the person
i need to be
the person
i want to be
but
fuck me
it feels like so much work.
of course, if i don’t do the work, that will drive me crazy. looking at the mess of me will bug me until i finally do do the work.
and i will do it.
i will. just, right now, i could really use a nap.
“lydia”
8X10 ink on watercolor paper
$45 ish
Quixotic Mama 