hold the crunchy granola

i’m not crunchy granola
i’m more like
bitter chocolate
with a gooey center
too angry
& opinionated
to spin with the hippies
i’m more likes
to stomp & swear
& cut off
all my hair
but don’t forget
my gooey center
there can be sweetness
in me
after all.

thoughts on why i no longer can find a home with people who i once thought i had something in common. although, admittedly, whenever someone called me a hippie, i corrected them by saying, “no, i’m an aging punk rocker…we just look a lot alike.”
i did have a friend, not too long ago, break up with me for being too angry.
but i fucking refuse to be passive. i spent way too many years doing that. letting the anger eat me from the inside while i tried to be a good girl.
nope, even it if means being unbelievably unpopular, i will not hide my anger anymore.

half and half

i am half amish
half punk rock
100% anarchist

i’m not sure those numbers add up…. i have started telling people i’m half amish. using a reel mower & scythe to tend my lawn. hand saws. hand drill. wanting to build shelves without power tools. wanting to have an oven that uses wood instead of electric or gas. wanting to heat my home with wood. rejecting appliances and clutter.

i told the kids to tell people we’re luddite.

as i try to change the world from my little corner in wisconsin.

rabid bunny

i am compassion
fatigued
i am pissed off
i am tired
of putting
other people’s feelings
first
like a spark
to a cloud
of gas
my anger
flares
& i go from
gentle
bunny
to gnashing teeth
&
terrible
claws.

i lost it on a librarian the other day. i sincerely believe (through common sense, instinct, & research) that wearing a mask is bad for my health…bad for my children’s health…bad for everyone who does not have a compromised immune system. the environment of microbes around us are meant to be breathed in & out–not our own carbon dioxide….
i could go on, but i won’t because if you don’t already agree with me, i’m probably not going to convince you.

i live in a small town in a rural area of wisconsin–but the town is teeming with the liberal attitude of mask up & don’t ask questions.
i ask questions.

& when a librarian, 20 feet away, in an empty room, tells me to mask up as i pop in to grab my library holds, i get pissy.
i’m tired of trying to make these people feel safe (because it is just an illusion–they aren’t any more safe for their covered faces–not really) while doing something to my own body that i know is not good for it. not being able to breathe is just not good for my body. not getting my dose of microbes is not good for me….

so why do they believe their health more important than mine?

ps…happy new year!! suck it, 2020!

questioning authority

why
am i opposed
to doing
what i am
told
to do….
i’m not willing
to compromise
my beliefs
i’m not willing
to ignore
what my body
my heart
my mind
are telling me are right
i’m not willing
to give up
awareness
& instinct
to embrace
the bliss of ignorance
following
blindly….
i have questions
& even if
i never find the answers
i will not
stop
asking.

i belong to a rebel alliance & this is the question that was asked at our last meeting. “why am i opposed to doing what i am told….”
i don’t know if this answers it…but this is what i thought on the topic.

still feral

here i thought
i was one of you
those peace-loving
justice-seeking
liberals
here i thought
i was like
these people i see
everyday
but
it’s kinda like that time
i convinced myself i was
a morning person
only to find
so much relief
when i embraced the night….
now i look
examine
the path i have been
travelling
all along
the path where i call myself
an anarchist
the path where i find myself
attracted to the celtic goddess
morrigan
who is both life & death
birth & battle
growth & destruction
and
i remember again
my quest for
balance
my need to accept
that conflict is as much
a part of life
as peace
&
harmony
one cannot exist
without the other
it would be
unnatural.

tomorrow is election day in the united states. some people think things will magically get better after election day. i suspect another story will unfold. a less than desirable history in the questionable history of our country.

i am not a liberal.
i thought i was because they tell us we are either conservative or liberal. conservatives being the bad guys & liberals being the good guys. (though my parents told me it was the other way around)
right.
it’s a story like everything else about this country.
conservatives are like giant two year olds who want what they want, consequences be damned.
and liberals are like those three chimps: see no evil; speak no evil; hear no evil…. or ostriches with heads deep in the sand.

that’s my story, anyhow.
as i embrace my feral nature once more.
tomorrow i will vote third party as i (almost) always do in my efforts to push over the see-saw of politics in this country.
& i will hope for the best because
if things don’t change, things are going to change….

unplug

it seems to me
your
ideologies
& world views
depend on what channel
you are
watching…
it’s time
to open eyes
&
unplug.

another random thought while wandering the covid-paranoid streets of “liberal” madison, wisconsin. one sign even warned me to stay six feet away from so&so’s garden???
what the fuck?
don’t breathe my good oxygen…it’s mine, all mine….
so i thought this–tune in for your next opinion.
it’s all fucking he said/they said. i just want people to start thinking for themselves.
is that even possible?

(sorry if i’m not making sense–bit of a head cold…probably serves me right for refusing to stop living my life)

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