it seems like so many books i pick up to read
new fiction, this century fiction
so many end of the world stories.
right now i am reading louise erdrich’s
future home of the living god
and then there is lydia millet’s
mermaids in paradise.
i didn’t realize either one was about the end of the world
until i was reading them.
and of course, margaret atwood.
and so many others. so many.
so i was wondering if they know something.
all these women
is it intuition?
then i remembered that i have my own
end of the world story
i have been playing with for many years now.
for those of you not familiar,
this is the first page of my graphic novel
moses jones: apocalyptic mama
some people act like everything is game on as usual.
but when my kids talk of their future
and when they are grown up,
i can’t help but think,
“will there still be a world,
when you grow up?”
& if there is a world…what will that world look like?
because surely something soon is going to change.
for better or for worse.
is me trying to be a better
which is hard
when half the time
i’m not sure i’m
so realizing how nice it feels to get birthday greeting and how happy my kids get when someone sends them a card, i am trying to send birthday cards–homemade birthday cards to people who are in my life.
this one is for my nephew, who is a doctor who fan.
here i am
i have never left
can you hear me?
can you see me?
i am here
i have never left
it felt good to do a doodle of my other self…my moses jones. my apocalyptic mama. it felt good to think about her.
she is a sort of self-portrait.
the me in a parallel universe
where dytopia has already sunk his teeth into us all.
i want to bring her back.
read my comics, if you will.
give me your thoughts.
i posted this on the inktober group i am in on facebook, i referenced how conflicted i felt about so much color–as if i were channeling the teletubbies…and…nothing.
not one like.
not one comment.
is it me? i put on deodorant…
(actually, not technically deodorant, i use baking soda, coconut oil, and essential oils….)
but you know what i mean.
i would like, at some point before i am dead, to not feel like a complete pariah.
and dusty is coming here to stay for a week. part of me is relieved that there will be another grown up here.
part of me just wants to die because the only relief i get is when the man who helped put me in this fucking situation comes to visit.
mostly, i just feel like crying.
i’m going to go take a shower and cry.
so–who remembers bluejean & the moonfish?
i have had a part started page hanging on my wall forever.
i finished it!!
that was part of the reason i decided to switch blogs.
inktober is over. i am starting to accept that.
to fill the hole it left in my life,
i am challenging myself–to not necessarily finish a picture a day, but
to at least show my work, every day.
work on something every day.
and share with y’all every day.
this will be good for me.
and hopefully you will enjoy it as well!