happy valentine’s day from an ice monkey

confusion is nothing new

teeth & gums & nakedness
nothing new
a series of dreams
that never come true
but can i really say
i never get what
i want
when wants change
& needs are undecipherable?
needs
i would like to get
what i need
teeth & gums & nakedness
men following men
through my room
moonlight
sunlight
lamplight
condom wrappers
& nothing fulfilled
but i got
what i wanted
for 30 seconds
teeth & gums & nakedness

yes. my name is “mary jo” & yes. i was a pretty promiscuous 24 year old once.
this is my favorite poem that i have ever written.
it was written after a busy summer in ’94 that began with my breaking up with the love of my life and ended with my reuniting with the love of my life after a bunch of indiscretions.
then i went away (with him) to an all girl school in roanoke, va (hollins university) where i workshopped my poem as well as classics such as “bukowski’s undertow” & “tiny tortures in this hyperactive ghost town” which can be seen in comic form in my newly published book confusion perfume & other neurotic comics.

in other news–i made so many valentine’s this year, y’all! i like to reclaim valentine’s day as a day of love & not necessarily romance. and i am so full of love. ink covered love.

ps. happy year of the (big blue) ox!

pps. my scanner finally gave up it’s ghost, hence the buttload of blurry photos. i did invest in a new scanner that should be here soon. buy a copy of my book to help me pay for that!!

look mom, i’m a writer

“writing is a nice hobby,” they told me. “but what are you really going to do with your life?”

sadly, both my parents are dead, and i am unable to rub it in their faces that i have finally started publishing books….
i’m a late bloomer.
that or it took me 30 years to realize, “nope, this is what i am going to do. fuck real life.”
so!
confusion perfume & other neurotic comics has been published by tara caribou’s raw earth ink publishing as of last year & is available through amazon…or contact me for an autographed copy.
and now tara is tackling my collection of short stories, tangled together, that is flash fiction & short stories spanning the 30 years of my being a short story writer (before which i wrote novels)….
so exciting!
i will totally keep y’all updated!

Now Available from Indie Blu(e) Publishing: As the World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad — Brave & Reckless

Indie Blu(e) Publishing is thrilled to announce that As the World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad in now available on Amazon in both print and Kindle versions.

Now Available from Indie Blu(e) Publishing: As the World Burns: Writers and Artists Reflect on a World Gone Mad — Brave & Reckless

here is an anthology that includes some pieces from me on my feelings about the current state of the world…check it out

xo

i’m nanowrimo-ing

or trying to, at least
i’m working on two different projects
which has me working on stories
everyday
so, yay!
but no worries
i am still journaling
but need to get to inking
as well so i can post something
however
thoughts keep falling out of my head
before i can commit them to paper
you know how it goes
you think there is no way
you will forget something
& then it is gone.

but! until i can get some journal pages done, i will just go ahead & remind y’all that i did write a book and i do have a box of them sitting in my office waiting to be autographed & mailed to you!
you can paypal me…write me a check…mail me some cash…whatever gets this book in the mail to you.
if you need it, my email is quixoticmamama@gmail.com

xo

fort building

here is a box of me
a box of my comics
my art
my thoughts & stories
here is a box
that kind of
terrifies me
no one is going to want this,
i tell myself
oh fuck…what if someone reviews me?
how will i answer them
when they ask me,
who the fuck do i think i am….
remember
when you were 17
& you just knew
you were
destined
for greatness
ready to take on the world
a famous novelist
in the making?
what ever happened
to
that
girl?

so, yeah…. if you want an autographed copy of my book, let me know. meanwhile, i will be using them as weight while building my blanket fortress of solitude….

confusion perfume…the book

there were like four more pages of confusion perfume…however, the wonderful tara caribou is planning to publish my comic with a couple other of my comics in a book due out later this year….
what?!?
yes, it’s true.
while there is no news on my short story collection, tangled together, which was supposed to come out in 2019…now, out of the blue, i have a different book coming out in my medium of choice: comics!!!!
so fucking exciting.
by the way, should there be a publisher who wants to tackle the short story collection, i think i can safely assume my other publisher has jumped ship.

anyhoo. the last four pages were a change of pace for confusion perfume, less levity…more dark & scribbly. a short story about 9-11-01 that i turned into a comic using berenice beaumont (my character in confusion perfume in case you are just tuning in.)
and i decided not to post them to give y’all a little mystery. plus! tara has requested i write little ditties like i like to do, explaining/rationalizing/analyzing my work. so i am totally having a blast doing that.
also…maybe brand new never seen before pages????

so what now?
well, today, we have quixotic postcards i made years ago at a ‘zine fest when the printer did not have my order of postcards ready & i had to make some up on the fly.

tomorrow?
(or the next day if tomorrow is too hectic)
pages of my comic in progress: weener coop
& by in progress, i mean, i really do plan on getting back to it one day because i think it is totally fucking awesome.

in memory of mike connell

today is the eleventh antiversary of the day my big brother was murdered by the political party he spent his life working for.

above is a pastel i did in memory of his & my relationship.
below is a poem i wrote on the fourth antiversary of his death.

heavy

when someone close to you
dies
it becomes part of your description
she has brown hair
a nice smile
and her brother is dead

birthdays are the hardest
his last one
I didn’t know
it was the last
his voice sad on the telephone
my pledge to keep in touch
this time

we live in a world
where I can obsessively search for
intimate details of his death
available in short video
burning plane
gray matter spattered on a playground
his last words, “oh fuck.”

notorious IT guy for the other side
the “Forrest Gump of stolen elections”
everything reminds me
of him
the sound of a single engine plane
sad songs on the radio
politics, Christmastime, and charismatic men

I drink Irish whiskey this time of year
but it was Scotch at his wake
four years now
four years since the last election
four years since the plane crash
a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream
murder Republican style

when someone close to you
dies
do you let it redefine you?
hello. I’m Connell
a mama, a student, an artist
let me tell you
about my dead brother

between homes

summer 2015
while trying to convince the dad to move away
leaving a “commonwealth” scam
leaving a doorstep haunted by a predatory woman
leaving a sadness that soaked my bones
just leaving, i begged
or not…
i tried to to convince the dad to move away
somewhere cheaper
far away from his predatory “other woman”
i tried
& failed
he would not leave her
& stupidly
i agreed on a rental that would not be open until
the end of
summer
summer of 2015, between homes
bouncing around
crashing, house-sitting, visiting relatives
only to land again
in my own
sadness

i have been thinking of that summer, if only to remind myself that i have been “between homes” with four children before…& survived.
i am hoping that this time i do not land again in my own sadness.
the dad has been trying to convince me to come live with him again….
right???
what insanity would that be?
i have broken free of him & to give up that freedom would surely mean the end of me…
but, i might have to turn to him for temporary shelter. i am trying to find other options, but having a safe place for the minions to be trumps all other concerns. & where the minions go….
i’m trying to be excited about a change, even an uncertain one. i mean, i am excited about it…but also worried sick. i turn every scenario over & over in my head. i do everything in my head, first, preparing myself for anything unexpected.
this is how i survive.

to help support my traveling circus & our search for a forever home, check out my patreon page where i am working on character development of a comic book hero who has been in my head for about five years now….

and being a patron of mine of the $5 a month or more, gets you personalized art postcards like these:

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑