who am i
if i am not ugly?
who am i
if i am not
how do i imagine
as anything other
than a
i have told myself this
for so
so long
how do i write a new

“in the cards”

the cards tell me to
let go
(let go let go let go)
of something
no longer
the cards tell me
i cannot see
my true potential
warped lenses
the cards
do not
tell me how to let go
they do not tell me
how to see myself
through a lens
by self-loathing.

my tarot cards are always telling me to let go of something & i’m all, “i have let go of everything….” except, i realized, my self-loathing & stubborn belief that everyone looks at me and sees some hideous monster. that everyone can tell i don’t belong. that i am ugly to the core.
can i let go of a belief i have held close for most of my life?


4 thoughts on “two-fer

Add yours

  1. “Letting go” really means to let go of ATTACHMENT to any particular idea or thought or anything, really, because this life is so temporal. Thought come and go from beyond us and our big job is not to get attached to one particular thing or another because whatever it may be, it is going to change. The paradox of time and space. I actually think you do a pretty good job in that regard; i mean, one day you say their is ugliness in your gut, the next day you say your gut is beautiful; that is pretty unattached to any particular viewpoint. Here is a saying attributed to Hui Neng in 600 A.D.

    “Deluded people are no different from awakened ones (Buddhas), delusion is no different from awakening. With one confused thought, you are deluded; with your next thought you see the truth, that’s awakening. With one thought you cling to something, that’s delusion; with the next thought you leave it behind, that’s awakening.
    You’re better than alright, friend. You are on to something truthful and good. The way it IS. Reality.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: