delusionally hopeful

delusionally hopeful
is no way
to live
unless you enjoy
the terrible pain
of realization
of waking up
& seeing
just how
fucking
unkind
the world can be
flying high
leaves
a long
fall
back
to earth.

my mom used to always tell me i was a pessimist. one short-lived boyfriend labelled me a fatalist. however, i have always believed myself to be an optimist
or maybe more accurately, an idealist.
which leads to an amazing amount of heartbreak
resulting in black moods
hence those former diagnosis, i assume.

how does one expect the best without turning into a seething mess of disappointment?

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