who’s the hunter who’s the game

for all the boys
i’ve relentlessly chased
over the years
i have never caught a one
well…maybe one
but two weeks later
i lost him again….
all the boys
i have known
have been the ones
who have caught me…
what the fuck
motivates me
to keep on chasing boys?
why do i keep chasing
this boy?
do i think this time will be different?
do i think this time
he will realize
how special i am?
have i learned nothing?
or am i just
aka delusional….

feeling that familiar hopeless feeling in regards to my trying to woo my long lost love. though my tarot lectures me not to act rashly (as i have in the past–perhaps contributing to the radio silence he now treats me to?)
over the years i have come on strong only to turn cold when i don’t get what i want. which is not the healthiest of ways to deal…. who can blame him for avoiding me?
but it is difficult to keep faith when i am met with one of my kryptonites…being actively ignored.
and i have been nothing but charming (right?) nothing but cute & sincere…but he still won’t respond….
i feel like crying.
i feel like a stupid girl.
this is why i hate love.

(am i the warrior?)

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