who’s the hunter who’s the game

for all the boys
i’ve relentlessly chased
over the years
i have never caught a one
well…maybe one
but two weeks later
i lost him again….
all the boys
i have known
have been the ones
who have caught me…
so
what the fuck
motivates me
to keep on chasing boys?
why do i keep chasing
this boy?
do i think this time will be different?
do i think this time
he will realize
how special i am?
have i learned nothing?
or am i just
that
hopeful
aka delusional….

feeling that familiar hopeless feeling in regards to my trying to woo my long lost love. though my tarot lectures me not to act rashly (as i have in the past–perhaps contributing to the radio silence he now treats me to?)
over the years i have come on strong only to turn cold when i don’t get what i want. which is not the healthiest of ways to deal…. who can blame him for avoiding me?
but it is difficult to keep faith when i am met with one of my kryptonites…being actively ignored.
ack.
and i have been nothing but charming (right?) nothing but cute & sincere…but he still won’t respond….
i feel like crying.
i feel like a stupid girl.
this is why i hate love.

(am i the warrior?)

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