queen of breakdowns

exploring my relationship
with patience
exploring my non
relationship
with patience
i want it now
now now now
patience, that is
i want it now…
alas
though i do not prescribe to
good things come to those who wait
i do believe
if it is worth having
it is worth fighting for.

i can’t tell you how many letters i have written to this man since i have broken my knee. it started out like one a week…now it is two or three a week? i have so much to say to him…but he still has nothing to say to me. nevertheless, i keep writing. not knowing if the letters are opened or not. read or not. maybe that isn’t even the point. maybe it is all just an exercise in patience.
in knowing what i want & fighting for it.
i have realized, on the topic of vulnerability, that i do feel vulnerable to him…& maybe that is why winning him back–in one capacity or another–is so important to me. i cannot be vulnerable to just anyone. but i am to him. open & exposed.

in other news…
i have been going to an energy worker/chiropractor for a few years now. river of ahz in viroqua. he is totally worth it. i have seen him for my knee (& the resulting chaos to the rest of me) twice now. both times, after, my knee has felt like a new knee.
today i am even walking with just one crutch instead of two.
& i have put a rubber tip on my bokken to use it as a walking stick as i try to wean myself off of the crutches altogether.

& speaking of breakdowns…i have not even had one today–despite the usual challenges of motherhood. so we can set the sign to 1 day since mom’s last breakdown.
yay!

queen of breakdowns…9X12 inking on watercolor paper…suggested price of $45 to $75

7 thoughts on “queen of breakdowns

Add yours

  1. Impatient for patience – perfect!

    The challenge in the letters – to pursue the process without attaching to an outcome from the other.

    Congrats on progress with the knee, a “take it easy but take it” situation.

    Liked by 1 person

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